So How do You Answer this one?
Do you and your SO have re-occurring "discussions"? DH (Bio-bud to Zippy 17 on November 10th and counting...) and I have this one:
Top Bio Father's Complaint:
Endora knew I had Zippy(week on week off when we were dating for a year-then SURPRISE full time custody and an MIA Bio Mom once the ring went on my finger) BEFORE she married me.
And
Endora just doesn't understand why I "parent" (and I use this term loosely!!) the way I do, the history between Zippy and DH or the feelings DH has for Zippy (close to an equal in this case).
I understand I have to "Suck it up Princess"- re the surprise custody, that could happen to anyone who is serious about a SO with children.
DH is a "mothering" sort to begin with-and he has come a long way from catering to Zippy's every need (at the cost of a few serious relationships before me)-
I also have to suck it up re Bio-Bud Mom-(AKA-S'n'M-Smoke and Mirrors)-I understand not everyone is Parent material-but I am so resentful that she feels NO obligation to be involved in Zippy's life (she leaves EVERY communication between them up to Zippy (who is brain dead from 24/7 video gaming allowed by DH)-
I have raised two successful young men (raising them in their teen years by myself with NO help)-I still, to this day touch base with them once a week, make care packages for them (AWWW Mom STOP! then -how come you did not cook/call/bring over... da da da) , check in and see how their week went (Charlie 1 is 27 and Charlie 2 is 25 and moving out in two weeks-finished school and has his job!!!)-Am I the only one seeing what is wrong with this picture???
I guess I have to let go of a virtual MIA Bio-Mom on Zippy's part (Zip does not consider me anything but "That Woman Dad Married Who is annoying and ruins my so called entitled life with her #&%&% Rules/Boundaries and Limitations)-I feel that Zippy is going to feel this loss(of BM) once (IF) he ever has a family and the bio-bud's involved will have to deal with that then...
What a shame -another train wreck or.....Crystal Ball needed-I could be wrong...
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Comments
I guess you have tried all you can to make it happen
To help him out where he needs it, to try to get him on the right track. But most of that is useless effort if his BP don't step up and allow him to take responsibility.
My skids are generally good kids. Get good grades, stay out of trouble, etc. They also help me with BS who is not their brother.
BUT, FH lets them stay home and sleep ALL SUMMER. No working, at all. They make half ass attempts to find work.
Two of them started college this year. And you know what? He tells them they can't study and be in school. WTF? I have been working since I was 14, as soon as the law could allow. Because there were things that I wanted but not what I needed so mom wouldn't get it for me.
But, I look at the bigger pic and see that at least they are in school.
Zippy...IDK if the fight will be over once he turns 18. Legally, yes, but will your DH actually cut him off? I don't know about that one.
Exactly
Mama bird in this case doesn't find her own food and papa bird doesn't teach or expect baby bird to do anything.
Crayon, you hit the nail on the head with that one!
Zippy...IDK if the fight will be over once he turns 18. Legally, yes, but will your DH actually cut him off? I don't know about that one.
And Giana-the above is correct as well-DH would NEVER let Zippy go without two huge cushions and body armour and helmet into the REAL World.
Next year is supposedly college for Zippy-(I doubt with his high school courses (ceramics and shop)-he will get in-but DH seems to think so (the kid has not studied ONCE in high school-he has a teacher's assistant to push him through our lax tax laden so called Canadian education system-as S'n'M had Zippy declared Learning Disabled before she dissapeared over the horizon...)
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!