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Crap Hits the Fan

Endora's picture

Maybe I will feel better writing this -but I just don't get the weird dynamic between DH and SS Zippy16.5.

The adoration fest on DH's part starts early yesterday-Zippy has had dental surgery and is now a bit swollen and sore but highly on the mend. So much so he is going to a movie last night-HOWEVER..

DH and I get up early to do groceries (we are going to a BBQ later that night)-DH has another list of "soft foods" that we are to buy for Zippy16.5-fine-just why the big production in front of me-just write the friggin items on the grocery list.

We get home and Zippy16.5 is up-of course Zippy making breakfast takes presidence over putting the groceries away-so WE sit in the family room while Zippy is making his meal-with DH listing -item by item what we bought to Zippy that Zippy can eat! Apparently we did not get any cheese that Zippy likes for his eggs-SO DH GOES OUT TO THE FREEZER AND BRINGS IN EVERY PIECE OF CHEESE WE HAVE TO SHOW ZIPPY-none were good enough-so DH apologizes for our cheese oversite (my bet is today there darn well will be Zippy's cheese!).

I have said NOTHING so far and do not plan on it-just shake my head.

It was no tax day at the grocery store-so DH CALLS Zippy (this is before the cheese incident) to tell Zippy that he is picking Zippy up some triple A batteries and a re-charger-fine...we get home DH shows Zippy said re charger and Zippy looks at it as if it is a turd-not so much of a thank you out of Zippy's mouth-oh by the way Zippy will take the batteries but not the recharger (he has one already)-still no thank you to DH.

Zippy is supposedly looking for a job-on Friday I notice that one of the local businesses is looking for students. I mention it to DH and he says to me "I will make Zippy apply there"-. After Zippy's long luxurious breakfast of cheeseless eggs Saturday afternoon-DH says "Zippy, I would like you to go down to this local business and hand in your resume"-Zippy thinks not-DH asks him why-no answer. Zippy leaves to go gaming-I say to DH "I thought you were going to make him do the exercise of applying?"-I know why Zippy does not want to work at the local business-Zippy is 16 and wants to work where his friends work-DH agrees-DH then says I will drive you to said local business and the place of business where your friends work to drop off your resume-FINE-we explain to Zippy once again if he gets a job at the local business and the place he wants calls him -he can make the call to stay or go if he gets either job-apparently this is rocket science to Zippy.

Later that same evening-Zippy goes to the movies and we go to our BBQ-we have a nice evening-

Now am I out of line here-

As we are leaving our friends house H has apparently called Zippy and told him we will be picking him up on our way home-(this is the first I have heard of this)

INSTEAD OF GIVING ZIPPY THE OPPORTUNITY TO BUS HOME BY HIMSELF (a ten minute bus ride)-because it is dark (10:30pm)-16.5 is too young for walking two blocks in the dark.

I am now seething in the car-we could not do one thing yesterday that was not about Zippy-

I get home and let DH have it with both barrels-he is sitting there wondering what the heck I am talking about-ARGHHH

This is just so frustrating to deal with day in day out-what a make work project they both are!

Comments

Sasha's picture

Are you sure you're not blowing this out of proportion? Taking it out of context? Making a mountain of a molehill? Cause I have never seen a grown man cater to his teen aged son the way your H caters to Zippy. This goes beyond catering...this is outright subservience to a KID. Has your H forgotten that HE is the parent? I'll admit I don't have kids of my own, but I used to be a kid and what I distinctly remember is that my mother SAID and I DID. There was never any question about who was the parent and who was the kid. At first I thought "who does this kid think he is" but it is not Zippy's fault...the fault lies with H for putting his kid on this pedestal. What is your H afraid of? That Zippy won't like him if he tries to be a parent?

I'm telling ya...get that fund going, cause at this rate Zippy will be so dysfunctional that he will never be able to hold down a job or support himself. He will never be able to make it in the adult world. He'll grow up thinking that he is owed everything, that he won't have to work for anything, that everyone else's sole purpose in life is to support him.

I hope Zippy is at least good looking, cause his only chance right now is to find himself a sugar momma who will be willing to keep him in the style he has become accustomed to!

I don't know how you do it...I would be having some good old-fashioned wall to wall therapy with the both of them!

Endora's picture

Sasha-I am not making this up!

My concern is exactly as you say-that Zippy will not be able to function in the real world-and no it is not Zippy's fault-

I do not like Zippy's behavior-but if he was parented it would be a whole different story.

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

Sasha's picture

the first three questions were actually tongue-in-cheek, rhetorical questions. I wasn't doubting you for a moment...I'm just very shocked that a man would behave this way with his kid!

Endora's picture

Giant Pull up Diapers -ARGHHH

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!