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Boiled iPad Anyone?

Drac0's picture

SS has two art projects due by the end of the week. He had 6 in total. He’s done 4, but now he has two left to do and time is running short. We even got an email from his art teacher politely reminding us of this and that she is available at lunch hour and after school if SS needs help.

Immediately after supper last night (of which he only ate ¾ of it; but I suppose that is normal for him) he asked to be excused so he can continue to work on his art projects. We allowed him and he went into his room and closed the door.

I was immediately suspicious.

I told DW that it is not like him to go into his room to do his work and close the door behind him. Normally he’ll want to hang out with us even after he has finished eating as much as possible before one of us sends him to his room to finish his homework. DW said that she’ll check up on him later.

I had a mountain of dishes to do. DW had some folded piles of laundry that she was trying to put away while keeping BS and BD occupied. SS was still in his room behind the closed door for about 20 minutes. Again, this is unusual. It is not like him to sequester himself. Normally he wants to be where the “action” is. I asked DW if she went to check up on him and she said no, so I went, still holding a wet pot and a dishtowel in my hand. I knocked on the door once and opened it.

SS was lying on his bed playing on his iPad.

I saw red.

I snatched the iPad out of his hand and I screamed. So much so, I was shaking. Now don’t ask me why I did this, but I took his iPad and tossed it in the pot I was holding. It just seemed like the right thing for me to do in this situation. I told him that if I catch him pulling this stunt again, his iPad is going up on ebay (although my actions made it look like I was about to boil it and serve it with carbonara sause).

SS starts to cry.

DW comes running to see what the commotion is.

“What’s going on?” DW asked.

“Drac0 yelled at me!” SS replies.

“Oh really?” DW says. “And why did Drac0 yell at you?”

SS shrugs his shoulders and I fill in all the “missing details”.

DW doesn’t get angry with SS but said something I never thought I would hear her say.

“Drac0 has every right to be furious with you and yell at you.”

SS was still sobbing and acting like an abused child. DW told him to cut it out and that he is only making matters worse for himself. SS then says that he can’t work on his art project anymore because he has a headache. So DW told him to take some Tylenol. SS doesn’t want to take the pills so DW suggests he go take a hot shower instead. SS does so, and just goes straight to bed afterwards.

The next morning, SS was whining that he was still feeling sick. DW wouldn’t hear any of it and told him to get to dressed and go to school.

This morning, I receive a text from SS (he can’t contact DW because DW can’t answer her cell when she is on the job).

Here is text convo:

SS: Im feeling dizzy. Feel like im going to throwup.

Drac0: Did you go see the nurse?

SS: No

Drac0: Go see the nurse. Have her call me if she senses something is wrong.

This was three hours ago. Haven’t heard a peep from either SS or the nurse.

Comments

Drac0's picture

I wanted SS to have daily tutoring after the report card results of last semester but DW decided to "give him one more chance".

At least DW had the presence of mind to see through SS's bullshit ploy about being "sick".

::sigh::

So what do you think? Should I serve red wine or white wine with boiled iPad?

Drac0's picture

LOL!

Drac0's picture

Yeah, the pot was simply wet (I had just cleaned it).

We have protective cases for the iPads. So even if I get them wet and drop it down the stairs, it will still work.

Drac0's picture

I hear what you are saying Dtzy. If I catch SS playing on his iPad or any other electronic gadget, I will calmly march downstairs to the circuit breaker box and shut off the one I marked Wi-Fi. I will then calmly confiscate the electronic device in question, take it to work and calmly open up an ebay profile showcasing the item.

Shaman29's picture

Stepdown....I stepped back when skid was in 7th grade. Which she failed and was moved to 8th grade anyway.

Had she been my own child, it would have been different. However she purposely failed to prove a point. That is when I completely disengaged from the skid.

Willow2010's picture

Maybe Draco is afraid that the kid will fail and be with Draco and his wife longer. lol

The rare time I engaged was in SS senior year. He was failing everything so I stepped in and bullied DH to handle it. No way I was letting him stay there another year.

Unfreakingreal's picture

I too got overly involved when SSnow21 was in his Senior year and bringing home 30s and 40s. How he managed to graduate, I will never comprehend but I wanted him to be done with school so he could figure out WTF he was going to do with himself. Well, he mooched off us for another 2 years after that, but eventually the gravy train stopped and he had to go. If I didn't push him, he would've eventually dropped out. Bad enough he graduated HS at 19 years old but at least he did finish.
Sad when the SPs care more than the Bio's do.

Mr.Just.His.Wife's picture

Draco:

I have some iphone5 shards you can use as garnish or seasoning if you want. They were prepared the traditional way. Sledge Hammer to screen, repeat until urge to kill diminishes.

Goincrazy40's picture

Oh OH Oh … "I have a HEADACHE, I just can't do X, Y or Z! You are MEAN!"

How many times has the mysterious instant headache happened to SS14 in this house? 1 million times at least.

Drac0's picture

He doesn't like oranges or orange flavors.

He also doesn't like french fries, corn chips, strawberries, cheese, pork, steak, potatoes, corn, any kind of gravy, tomatoes,....

And people wonder why he is so skinny...

Drac0's picture

The weird thing is, SS used to love French Fries. Especially McDonald's. He'd gobble them down and then try to lick the bottom of the little carton.

Then one day we told him that French Fries are made from potatoes. He didn't believe us (because he doesn't like potatoes either). Since that discovery, he has decided he hates French Fries.

Shaman29's picture

Ahhhh....reminds me of when skid claimed bacon and ham were beef products.

And I'm not talking about the non-pork version of bacon either. She was serious.

She claimed to hate pork and was no longer eating (I had cooked a pork roast that evening). Pork is slimy and gross, according to skid.

I shrugged and said that's fine. You can eat the side dishes. And we won't serve you bacon or ham sandwiches any longer.

Why not?

Bacon and ham are pork products, you just told us you don't eat pork. But I'm sure I can find you some turkey bacon.

No...bacon and ham comes from cows.

No they don't....they come from pigs.

No.....cows.

Skid....I'm not going to argue with you about where bacon and ham comes from.

Cows.

:?

Cows

:?

Hello Shaman? They come from cows.

H? Please explain to your child why she's flunking 7th grade. I'm going to finish dinner and take a hot bath.

Drac0's picture

There are several mysteries to my life that perplex me:

1) Management asking me for a schedule and then imposing a schedule that is no where close:

Management: "How long do you need to finish this task?"
Me: "I need 5 weeks minimum."
Management: "You got 5 days."
Me: "????"

2) My mother's apparent immortality and ability to travel back and forth through time:

Mom: "I can make a lasagna for your birthday."
Me: "Wouldn't that be complicated?"
Mom: "Oh no, I can whip one up in no time. I better go now."
Me: "You on lunch break?"
Mom: "Yeah but I don't eat lunch, I go out for a jog and then do some yoga."
Me: "You gotta eat something! You'll get sick!"
Mom: "Sick? What's that?"

3) SS's appeal to any member of the opposite sex

Me: "Shouldn't you take a shower SS? It's been 3 days."
SS: *shrug*
Me: "Doesn't Vicky complain about the smell?"
SS: "No. She likes the way I smell."
Me: "Well I am not taking you Christmas shopping unless you shower first!"
SS: "Christmas shopping?"
Me: "Yes! Don't you want to buy Vicky a Christmas present?"
SS: "What for?"