Hi all, I'm new to posting/blogging but have been browsing StepTalk for a long time. Been with DH for 18 years, married for 12, 3 bios with my DH and 2 adult skids. They're entitled, but probably not a patch on many that I've read about here.

The first time I came across this site, my chin hit the floor - I could not believe that so many other ppl were going through many of the same experiences as me. Around about the same time, I discovered the book Stepmonster. I urge any of you who have not read it to do so. It's so reassuring for stepmothers to read - as of course this site is too. However, my DH also read the book (well, parts of it) and has been amazed to see that our step-life has been written about in black and white. This is great, to have your DH really see your side of things. Recently, I was tidying through some paperwork and came across an old letter I'd written him (12 years ago). Therein, I expressed my unhappiness about always being put last, etc, etc ... all the usual complaints that stepmothers seem to have. What came through the most in the letter was my frustration at my complaints falling on deaf ears - I remember that feeling so well. Well, a lot has changed in terms of the power balance in the 18 years we've been together - in my/our favour, so ultimately I don't deal with a lot of the day to day stresses that a lot of ST'ers deal with. My point is: I had already expressed myself many times to DH about him putting me last and so on and yet it was only once he'd read the book that it fell into place for him. On one hand, it's galling that he didn't listen to me a long time ago, but once he saw it in print then he was prepared to see my side of things. Just saying, this book really helped DH get it....... BTW the author Wednesday Martin also has a website with a blog which makes for good reading too.