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I am just so utterly angry right now

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Wed, 08/14/2013 - 11:33pm

A few weeks back, DD11 was involved in a car accident. The driver of the other vehicle was at fault in such a way as the lawyer we retained believes the matter will be settled quickly and out of court. Good, right?

Well, maybe. The lawyer and my husb. go way back. They hung out together in high school. I believe my husb. may have worked (or tried to) some back room deal with this guy that he will simply keep $3,000 of whatever the settlement is from my daughter to also serve as his retainer for my husb.'s custody modification case. And, husb. would like me to start making monthly payments to this guy to cover other expenses for the case, which I wouldn't find offensive if my husb. hadn't, over the last three days, spent so much money on McD, Dunkin' Donuts, and convenience store junk food that we can't even pay our bills that are due on the 15th. I don't even know how that's possible. And I'm too numb to cry.

Comments

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Wed, 08/14/2013 - 11:41pm

Oh no. Sad I'm glad your DD is okay and I don't know what to say about your DH accept that it sounds like he is not the best with managing money..ouch! Would that be something that you could take over on and leave him with allowances so to speak to prevent this from happening again?

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Wed, 08/14/2013 - 11:59pm

That's what is supposed to be happening. He undermines the system, though, by transferring funds from my (the bill) account to his (the fun) account.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 7:15am

Honestly, I'm about to contact the attorney just to make sure he and I are on the same page about it not being husb.'s to do with as he wishes. I and DD are his clients separately from husb.

Husb. actually had the gall to ask me this morning how much money he could spend this pay-day. Boy, won't he be surprised when he finds out I've withdrawn all but $10 so he *can't* spend on bs.

KiFire's picture

Submitted by KiFire on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 8:34am

Good idea! FDH has a spending problem too.. he goes on and on about how we have to cut back, and I will, then the account goes down down down as he buys stupid BS. I will go without stuff I.. don't need, but don't not need.. y'know like new measuring cups because the ones I have the handles snapped off, they're still useable but not great, or new sneakers when the soles on mine are starting to crack and whatnot.

But he never runs out of coffee or cigarettes - never.

sixteensmom's picture

Submitted by sixteensmom on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 12:46am

if there weren't really serious injuries in the car accident with long term effects, you don't need an attorney at all. certailny not $3K worth.

see what the ins co offers when your dd is finished treating, before you convalute it with an attorney.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 7:18am

Well, it was serious enough that it knocked her out, she has (had?) a concussion, and she requires physical therapy. I've only ever been in one accident myself, so I have no real experience to draw on where that's concerned. That's why I got a lawyer.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 7:38am

Wait...let me see if I have this right. Your DH is going to try and keep some of your DD's settlement to use for his custody case?!

If that is correct...I would flip my lid. What a worm.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 12:20pm

That's his plan. I, however, happen to have other plans. Namely, DD's medical bills and then braces if there's any left over.

From my talk with the lawyer this morning, I'm getting the distinct impression that husb. thinks the two of them are closer than they really are.

Cocoa's picture

Submitted by Cocoa on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 8:32am

i'm happy you withdrew that money! now, tell dh that is NOT his money, it's NOT money for HIS custody, not blowing money, not bill money, this money is going to be used on your daughter. period. pay her bills with it and put the rest into a savings account for her.

nothinforya's picture

Submitted by nothinforya on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 9:38am

It would be malpractice for an attorney to divert funds from one client (your daughter) to another (DH). You may want to mention that to the attorney before you fire him.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 10:24am

Update:

I talked to the lawyer this morning. He assured me that diverting funds that way was unethical and not something he'd even consider. I feel much better about that. Especially since I plan to use that momey first to cover ant bills left after insurance, and second to pay toward dd's teeth.

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 10:29am

If the attorney does divert any funds, report him to the licensing board and he'll be disbarred.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 12:31pm

First off- your DH is an ass.

Secondly - when we got rear-ended in an accident, my SD freaked out (she has an anxiety disorder) and started screaming that she couldn't see! So they took her to the hospital for overnight for observation. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her except mentally (which was from BM - NOT the accident!!)

There were no lawyers involved. The guy's auto insurance paid for the value of the car and the things in the trunk we could no longer access. They also paid ALL medical bills AND gave SD a settlement (of around $7000).