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Legal Issue?

DirtFreakMom's picture

My SD13's mom lives with her parents (SD's grandparents). She has lived with them off and on for about a year. My DH has primary custody of SD, but during the summer, SD stays with BM every other week. During school, she only sees BM every other weekend. SD doesn't want to go see her mother, but does because the courts say she must. Her mother has a drug problem, can't keep a job (doesn't even really try to get one), and is very irresponsible (obviously). BM ran off and left SD last year and was gone (no phone calls, etc) for over 6 months, so it's pretty apparent why SD couldn't care less about mom.

Well, my SD13 called at 1:00 am Tuesday night (Wednesday morning) to tell me that her mom and grandpa (mom's dad) had got in a big fight and her mother had left. She said she was going to stay the rest of the night with grandma, but could we come and get her the next day so that she could go to cheerleading practice. I did pick her up and on the way to practice, her mother called. BM wanted to take SD to her Aunt's (BM's sister) for the rest of the week. SD said she didn't want to go up there. BM said fine, she could stay with grandma. SD said she didn't want to do that either. BM said well, where are you going to stay? (who's the parent in this conversation?!?!) SD said, I'm going to my dad's. BM said fine. SD said that she saw BM later that afternoon - was in the same house with her for about 30 minutes - and BM wouldn't speak to her or even look at her.

We now have "possession" of SD during BM's court assigned visitation time. It's going on 3 days now and BM hasn't called to even check on SD.

OK - all that backstory for this question: Should DH make an effort to get SD back to BM since it is her legally-assigned visitation time? What if the next legally-assigned visitation time comes along and we still have not heard from BM? My DH wants to just leave it alone as he feels that it is BM's responsibility to get things arranged. I agree, but I'm not sure how the courts will see it. I wouldn't put it past this woman to try to convince the courts that we are keeping SD from her and even accuse us of kidnapping (though SD would set the judge straight) Thoughts????

Thanks!

Comments

Anne 8102's picture

She basically abandoned the child, then gave the child permission to go back home to dad. I agree with your DH on this one. I doubt a judge would take you to task for this.

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)

Sebbie's picture

Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.

BM made her decision, if she chooses to not exercise her visitation with sd, then so be it. No judge in his right mind would see this as kidnapping or that you and dh are witholding visitation, esp, since sd is old enough for the courts to address her personally regarding the whole visitation situation.

Mocha2001's picture

I agree ... just keep a good journal. Also, not sure what state you are in but some states have set ages where they consider the child's opinion. Your DH could be held in contempt of court if she chose, to so I'd consult a lawyer on your situation just so you know your rights, your state's laws, and what to expect.

~ Katrina