*Legal question*
I'll start by saying I live in the state of NC. My SS10 BM desperately wants to put him on ADHD medication even though our pediatrician has advised against it. Our pediatrician says there are to many variables to say that he definitely has ADHD and the behaviors alter dramatically depending on which parent he is with. She adviced to make more natural modifications and then meet again to go over data and discuss the next steps. BM has taken SS to at least 3 diffferent doctors that I know of until she finally got a Dr to prescribe him vyvance (30mg). She didn't even tell us that she had taken him to the doctor or that he was put on medication. My husband and her have joint custody and the papers specifically state that any decisions with long lasting affects must be made jointly. We only found out because he is on our insurance and the pharmacy notified us of a prescription. The medication had not been picked up yet and we were told it would not be ready for another week so BM got the exact same medication from a friend's son and gave to SS for two days. She sent him to our house without even mentioning the dr appointment or that SS had taken a controlled substance that day! My husband called the prescribing doctor and explained the situation who then canceled the perscription. She is now trying to get full custody saying that we didn't follow the advice of the dr. Isn't what she did illegal? What are the penalties?
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Your DH needs to consult an
Your DH needs to consult an attorney.
Already scheduled
We have a meeting with an attorney tomorrow afternoon but I've been trying to research information to help calm DH nerves. He has been very anxious ever since we got papers in the mail last week. He is so afraid that she is either going to get her way or we'll spend an arm and a leg trying to stop her but I feel like since she was so sneaky about getting this perscription and giving him someone else's medication that the law will play in our favor and it will back fire on her. Either way I think it's going to be mess and SS is going to be the one that suffers.
How did you not follow the
How did you not follow the advice of the dr on something she didn't notify you was happening and that the dr rescinded when he found out what was happening? Did he rescind the rx because your H asked him to or because the doctor wanted to on his/her own? If you didn't know this was happening, how can she be saying you did not follow advice from a doctor that you didn't know about?
You need to consult an attorney and explain in better detail to them how all of this went down.
Exactly!
My husband asked him to after he explained it was a joint custody situation and my husband had to fax copies of the custody order. The Dr had been fed a bunch of lies. I really don't think she has a leg to stand on but I know she is very sneaky and lies a lot so that's the only thing that worries me. I have a binder full of all of our documentations and my SS's pediatrician is supporting us. We have a meeting with attorney tomorrow afternoon. It's just very stressful!
The fact that she gave him
The fact that she gave him someone else's prescription could REALLY have an effect...if she admits it...Subpoena her friend. Will skid admit it?
That is a big yikes on her part. I mean...also the doctor shopping, but especially the meds.
SS was the one that told us
SS was the one that told us about it. We knew that the perscription wasn't ready yet because we had been in communication with the pharmacy but SS came to our house two days after the appointment and told us everything and my DH recorded it. He gave us the name of the friend, how she got it, where they went to get it, and everything. He described the pill and told us exactly what his mom did with it but BM has admitted to us and in front of my MIL and BM's dad that she did give him someone else's perscription but she denies that it was the friend SS told us. She claims she got it from someone else but won't tell us who. She doesn't think it's a big deal because she says it was the exact same medicine. Everything else from SS story checks out so I think she is just lying to protect her friend. I have texts between me and the pediatrician that night describing the incident and we have requested for the notes and details from the prescribing dr but haven't received anything yet. He says that he was under the impression that there was not a dad in SS's life. I hope this is enough evidence.
Our BM did something similar
Our BM did something similar and got smacked hard for it. It was a factor in her custody loss. But we live in a state that is fair to dads, so you never know.
Definitely talk to the
Definitely talk to the attorney, but I'd also consider calling CPS abouy BM giving SS a controlled substance that wasn't prescribed to him, especially if she might still have a baggie of controlled substances in her home while "waiting" for SS's prescription (which now has been cancelled). I don't usually like to say "call CPS!" for every little thing, but this is one of those instances where I think it's warranted. Not only does this put SS in danger, but it's not healthy for the other kid, either, to miss out on meds because their parent decided to let them "borrow" medication.
Update
Spoke with a lawyer yesterday and he seemed unimpressed with everything that happened. He said the judge is going to say that my husband should have just medicated his son. I've heard good things about this lawyer but he did not seem very supportive and his fees were more than what we could afford. My husband is going to contact more lawyers today to find see if we can get one that is more supportive and maybe takes payments.
I think that in the end, the
I think that in the end, the issue will end up being that she DID have a physician prescribe this medication. That the medication is not "long term" impact necessarily (can be stopped in the future.. not like chopping off a limb.. or having brain surgery). The only area that he could possibly attack is that she procured the medicine apparently through non-traditional chanels if she truly did get it from a friend of her son's. I know "your" pediatrician is saying it isn't needed.. she found one that said it would... and prescribed it. And.. I have a feeling the judge might just give her a "slap on the wrist" for giving her meds prescribed to another person if they were identical to the ones prescribed that were on order.
I'm not sure what your goal is for court. But, I think you probably got good advice from the lawyer you spoke with.. that has a good reputation. They likely don't see much of an outcome and they aren't pushing you to spend loads of money as a result. You may find another lawyer that tells you what you want to hear.. that they will "nail BM to the wall".. yank custody from her and cut your DH's child support and make HER pay HIM.. but in the end.. none of that is likely to happen.. and a lawyer who makes those promises most likely sees a big payday from you.. "sure we will take payments".