The 6 year old from the depths of Hades--what happened?
Ok, like any 6 year old boy, step son can be rambunctious and whine a little. Usually a stern "knock it off" from either his dad or myself will do the trick to adjust the behavior. This past Thursday we pick the kid up to go on a vacation to visit DH's family. Something just seemed "off" from the time we picked them up. SS was super mopey and quiet and didn't act like his usual self. DH said that when he walked in to get the rest of the bags he saw BM kneeling really close to SS and SS replied "Aw mom not you made me feel bad". We have no idea what she said--we didn't ask. We started the long drive to vacation.
Little did we know the boy was bodyknapped by aliens or a demon (just looking for explanations here. For a solid 5 days the kid was out of control. NEVER listened, DEMANDED things not asking for them, when he was told no he would pout, whine and "fake" cry for hours. And to top it all off he is just plain MEAN! Says things like "I like being with Mommy better than you guys" "I hate my sister can we throw her out of the car?" Would deliberately take things away from his sister to watch her cry.. When he would get threatened with getting something he cherished taken away for his behavior he would reply "I don't care, do what you want".
What the hell happened? It's like a switch got flipped in a matter of the 3 days BM had him? I don't even know who this kid is anymore.. but he wasn't like this when we dropped him off the previous Monday. Have any of you experienced this--if so what did you do?
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We only have SS EOW. We have
We only have SS EOW. We have primary custody of SD. I have no idea what was said that made him "feel bad" but we have never seen him this mean to everyone and act out to this extent. We have tried time outs, taking netflix away, taking the leap pad away... nothing phases him.
Exactly what Bright said.
Exactly what Bright said. This is what I was thinking...
how long has he been out of
how long has he been out of school? I always notice a change in BS7 when there is a break from school. He does better when he has structure and is busy. I remember being concerned when he was in Pre-K if he could pull off a full day of school, plus karate 2 nights a week, plus soccer 3 days a week, but he thrived. No issues. I find when he gets bored is when he tends to get crabby and not himself.
Maybe the kid is just bored? I really don't know that a 6 year old could take something that BM said to him and run with it for a whole week? She probably said she was going to miss him terrible.. I mean what mom wouldn't?? I tell my BS7 that when he goes for 1 night to MILs. Are you implying that BM told him to act like an ass?
No not implying that at
No not implying that at all... Just trying to pinpoint what would have cause the abrupt change in attitude in just 3 days from when he was with us last. DH and I have never seen him act this terrible and mean before.
Yes we go through this during
Yes we go through this during summer. He's with BM for a week on/week off so he gets into his ways over there then comes home. It takes a lot of consistency. Things that help combat the whiney behavior is making SS5 go lay in his bed for a little while. We tell him when he's overly tired he whines and to take a break. He either stops whining so he doesn't have to nap or he keeps it up and we send him to his bed. Sometimes he does fall asleep and wakes back up in a better mood. When SS5 says ugly things about SS I usually ask him how he would feel if I did that to him. At 5/6 they are learning to empathize with other children. Saying things like "I hate it here" or " I can't wait to go back to my mommy's" we usually just ignore him or act like it's nothing by saying "oh okay, do y'all have plans?" The last time SS5 said he was couldn't wait to go back to BMs, DH told SS "okay, here ya go" and gave him a seat by the window and told him "you can wait here for her" and then we all went on about our business while he just sat there. Eventually he got upset that DH was playing with BS and BS was helping us cook dinner. He started to pout about wanting to get up and DH told him that SS was the one who said he wanted to wait for BM so he can get up anytime he's done with that. It helped he realize dwelling on BM and going back to her house will only make time go by a lot slower and a lot more boring than if he were just to have a good time and play with his toys.
In kindergarten last year his teacher used a behavior chart system for his class. We use it at home too during the Summer too. It helps keep him in the habit for when school starts back up and it's also a visual of his behavior while he's home. He knows a straight face means he loses screen time, frown face means he's punished to his room, he starts on a smile face. We use the same order his last teacher used and I think you can find them on Pinterest or make your own to print out. I used clothes pins (BS gets one too to be fair) and card stock laminated with the faces and coordinating color for each. Hang it up in the kitchen or a room that he's in frequently. Catching him doing good things without asking like tucking BS in while he's laying on the couch watching tv, I reward him with praise, or make a big deal about it to his dad when DH gets home. When he's mean to BS he is instantly sent to his room to play by himself. If he can't be nice to his brother, then he can be alone. They hate being by themselves for too long and he will play nice.
He probably misses his mom.
He probably misses his mom. Plus some strange mommy stuff probably went down.
Example: Years ago my 10 year old goddaughter was getting on a plane to visit a relative and her mom said to her..."I'm so nervous about you traveling. What if I die while you're gone?"
Can you imagine? I was floored. My goddaughter looked pale as a ghost when she boarded and the first thing she asked upon arrival was whether her mom might die. What is wrong with people?
Still, no fun for you guys. I would have been so stressed out!
Mum poisoned his mind to be
Mum poisoned his mind to be bad... cause that's how he shows he loves her...
I would not punish him, I think DH needs some alone one on one time with him, do something fun with him, and get him to talk .... explain to him...we still love you and it's okay to love us back and love mommy...
this kid might need some therapy in my opinion, he's mother is messing with him