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Step/Bio sons and wife rent issues

dad60's picture

I'm having a problem with my wife over our boys. My stepson is in college part time and has a part time job and is 22 yrs old and does not pay any rent. He does how ever pay is car insurance and cell phone and his health insurance. My son is 24 has a decent job pays health insurance and car insurance and give me $200.00 a motnh for rent. Here is the problem I have, we have a problem meeting our financial obligations my wife and I both work also I make a decent wage and my wife makes a so-so wage,every thing has gone up utilities,gas and food etc.. When I tell my wife that her son should be helping with the rent I'm told your son should pay more because he has a full time job. I had a deal if you go to college full time no rent, but he has been going part time for the last year now without me knowing but his mom knew. I have let him go rent free for 4 yrs he has his associates degree. Me and my wife fight constantly over money issues when in fact it cost 356.00 a month for each person in the house in order to make ends meet. Am I wrong for asking for rent and I plan to make it 300.00 a month in January 2012 for both boys so we can live a normal life without money problems.

Comments

ThatGirl's picture

That's a tough one, as everyone's financial situation is different. My rule was free rent if taking at least two classes and working PT. If not working, need to go to school full time. Under my rules, the 22 year old would qualify and the 24 year old would have to pay rent (and I'd probably up his rent, given that he's had 6 years to save up enough for his own place).

Willow2010's picture

In our house (agreed on before we married) kids.skids can live at home ONLT if in college full time and part time job. So in our situation, neither of the kids would be able to live at home.

IMHO….the 24 year old should not even be living there period. And the 22 year old is about close to not being able to live there either. Your bigger problem is that your wife kept this a secret from you. Not a good sign at all!

I would tell them both they need to be out in six months. Period..

buttercookie's picture

agreed

giveitago's picture

School is their job! As long as they are in school, or working. we will not take rent from them but they do have to pay their own expenses, cell phone and such like. I agree that keeping things under the radar is not good, it's probably a good idea to suggest a meeting of minds, with the view that you are all intelligent adults and the issue of money really needs to be addressed. If the boys leave home you and your wife are going to be paying the entire amount of household bills anyhow. My thing would be to make sure that the boys save money enough to get their own places. If I did take rent from ours I'd put it in a fund for them anyhow.

shielded2009's picture

I think that anybody over 18 should contribute to ANY house that they are staying in...

I don't care if they're full time or part time at school and work or whatever...SOMEBODY has to foot the bill, and I was raised to contribute...

I think your wife is wrong...Make both kids pay something...If your SS is part time at school, he needs a full time job...

That's crazy...I went to college full time AND had a full time job, and I managed fine financially, and I got my Bachelors degree...It instilled in me independence and a sense of responsibility...

I think that both of you could stand to toughen up on both boys, honestly...The oldest should be trying to move out, or at least have a deadline to get out, and the younger one, too actually...

Hanny's picture

what would you and your wife do if both boys moved out, how would you meet your obligations? The bills would go on if they moved out, right? Rent is rent, or a house payment is a payment, regardless of how many people live there, unless if they move out, you two will get a smaller place and pay less rent/house payment.

Shaman29's picture

Don't forget to factor in food, water, garbage, utilities, groceries, etc. They are paying to support 4 people, their expenses will go down once these grown men move out.

DoingItAgain's picture

My two cents... if kids are going to stay home while in college... they must be full time in school and part time job. Otherwise, if you only want to go to school part time... get yourself a full time job and move out! Part time job should at least pay for your personal expenses so that parents aren't still supporting your butt beyond school expenses. Kid should pay for their car, ins, phone and should also pay anything additional so as not to increase living costs of parents. So, if food and utilities are higher cuz kid is home, they should help subsidize that as long as they are living there but I'm not sure I agree with making them pay 'rent' per se. Just whatever parental expense is considered created to the kid.

DoingItAgain's picture

Oh, and I should also add that the kid better still do their fair share of helping around the house and picking up after themselves. If they are 18, I will NOT be their maid.

shootingstarz's picture

Yes both of these young men should be on their way to being out of your house. Especially the 24 year old or he will mooch off you forever and end up like my 35 year old BIL... Still living with mommy and daddy.

herewegoagain's picture

I think that at 22 and 24 they should pay something. Now, I don't understand why you would expect them to pay the same amount. The fact is that your son has been paying 200 at age 24, but you expect the 22 yr old to be paying 300 starting next year just like the 24 yr old? At what age did YOUR son start paying rent? At 18? or at 22? I don't agree the mom should lie, but I don't think that you are being fair in the sense that 2 yrs difference is huge...it's 2 yrs of raises, 2 yrs of extra wages, etc...

1. at what age did YOUR son start paying rent? make sure that you don't expect her son to pay rent EARLIER than yours did
2. if you want to raise rent to 300USD in January, do it for YOUR son...but since he paid only 200 until he was 24, the other should be allowed to also pay just 200 until he's 24

dad60's picture

I thank every one for your thoughts, tough love is hard but I quess that is on me I am a pretty easy going person.