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Please tell me I’m not crazy

CruellaDeKids's picture

Please somebody tell me if I'm crazy for thinking that an 8 year old girl does things on purpose to hurt me and/or cause friction between her father and I. If I'm not crazy please send me examples of your own. I feel so alone I can't breathe. The mother left them and they still look at me like I took her place or something and made her go. They were taken from her for drug problems !!! I do everything for them I can possibly do to make them feel loved and cared for. What am I missing ? Please how do I handle this when their dad won't even entertain the idea for a fraction of a second that what I'm saying is reality. 


ntm's picture

They are like foster children. The person who was supposed to protect them and care for them didn't. They can't trust you because moms do bad things and get taken away. They're testing you to see if they can make it happen with you too. They are trying to feel in control when their lives have spiraled out of control. 

If you're not married, my recommendation is to leave. It's not your job to save them. I adopted a four year old and it's the hardest thing I've ever done, other than being a stepmom with a non-parenting husband. Put the two together and it would be unbearable. 

ndc's picture

In addition to the kids needing counseling, you have a partner problem.  If he doesn't believe you when you tell him things about his kids, that is a big problem.  Does he not trust you?  Does he think you'd lie about that?

CruellaDeKids's picture

I love.him. I want it to work but he just looks at me like I'm crazy for thinking that like they would never intentionally do anything bad they're kids and so anything I try to explain after that I'm just crazy. 

susanm's picture

Because children are innocent and all that crap?  Ha!!!  No,  They are not.  Children are exactly how they are raised and he majorly &#$^' up in saddling them with a mother who would choose drugs over them and abandon them.  He knows how badly he damaged them.  He just doesn't want to admit it and do the hard work to fix it.  Better to find a nice woman and make it her problem.

Maxwell09's picture

Refer to my other comment on your other post but also look up "mini-wife" in the search bar on this website. It will help you identify common threads in stepdaughters. 

CruellaDeKids's picture

Can't find what you mean but would love the insight ‼️‼️

MomMamaMomMom's picture

"I feel so alone I can't breathe" is very relatable for me. My entire Stepparenting experience has felt that way. You're not crazy but you may be in a crazy situation. Your partner's response isn't encouraging & you can't fix it by yourself & it won't get better by itself. 

Winterglow's picture

Their father won't believe you? So he's effectively calling you a liar and preferring to believe an 8yo? Wow. Have you asked him why he thinks you'd lie to him. And consider hiding a few nanny cams around the house but tell nobody. He might change his tune if you had hard evidence (not that you should need it) to prove it - though he probably won't).

thinkthrice's picture

they guilty daddies would not believe their own lying eyes if they saw their spawn stealing and stabbing on video.

"someone else made them do it" (TM)

Love is not enough!  Your love will soon turn to resentment, loss of respect, dread and then loathing.

Get out now to save yourself and your sanity!

SubstituteMommy's picture

You're not crazy. SD9 is extremely manipulative and hurtful. She has been that way for years. She lives with us full-time, too. These bratty little girls are capable of a lot. It's sad and unfortunate that so many dads can't see it. I'm sorry that you are dealing with that. Everyone deserves peace in their life, so if you can't see yourself having peace in your situation, you should consider leaving. I know I am.