You are here

OT - but karma does exist!

CrazieCoconut86's picture

So, tomorrow my sister is getting married. I am not invited to the wedding because, according to my sister, I am "a lier" and I "don't care about our relationship."

This all stems from the fact that I got engaged and married first, but she is the oldest and feels that I have apparently stolen something from her. She also claims to be pissed that I didn't invite her to my courthouse wedding. I couldn't invite her, as DH and I could only have a maximum of 10 people with us. Since my sister lives 2 hours away in another state, and she always has an excuse as to why she can never come home, I didn't think she would care. I knew she would be upset, but to this extend, no way. She is also upset that I didn't tell her ahead of time. DH and I only told our jobs, so they knew not to call us on our day off, and the people who were invited (parents/grandparents & extremely close friends we see on a regular basis)

On the friends note, one of my pet peeves about my sister is she has NEVER made any attempt to meet my SS. When she wants to get together, I am expected to drive the 100+ miles to see her. She NEVER comes to me, EVER. Prior to my grandmothers death in January, my sister hadn't been to mytown since... I think my grandmothers birthday in August 2010. I won't take SS to see her, as I don't want BM to flip her lid when she hears DH and I took him out of state for a day. I have been with DH for almost 4 years, my sisters has never met SS. Almost all of my other family, even my brother whom I dispise, has met SS. These friends who were at my little ceremony were close to all of us, DH, SS and myself. That is what is important to DH & I.

Anyway, I am not invited to her wedding this weekend. Whatever! She hasn't spoken to me since before thanksgiving. I am over it. She wants to act like a child, fine by me. I have tried contacting her and have gotten no resonse.

Well, my dad totaled my parents car a month or so ago. My parents have been doing a really stupid carpool thing using my aunts car (they live with my aunt). My mom called me yesterday and said that my aunts car won't start. I said "Sorry. I will not be driving you anywhere for the next few days. I have plans." I have plans is very true. I have to take GM to the doctors tomorrow morning and I have an afternoon meeting with a dog rescue group about becoming a volunteer.

I also told my mom that if my sister calls me and asks me to do this, I will hang up on her. I am not going to be treated like garbage and a second class citizen, and then be expected to bend over backwards for her. If my parents can't make it to her wedding, then that is my sisters problem. I guess she will have to pay for them to get a rental car or something.


CrazieCoconut86's picture

I know it is jealousy. She and her fiance were dating for over years before he proposed. DH and I were only dating 2.5 years when he proposed. But we had known eachother for 10 years before we started dating.

But I can't control that her fiance didn't propose. That isn't my fault. And if my sister came to family getherings, she would have been at the one where DH pulled my parents aside and asked their premission to marry me. (I am still all warm and fuzzy that he did that. Brings a big ol' grin to my face)

And thank you for your support. I really appreciate it.

qtpie013178's picture

She is upset you married before her. If you had told her she would have scheduled her wedding before yours. I have a dear friend that upon learning of my engagement and wedding date, got engaged and married in six months, her wedding occurring about one month before mine.

bulletproof's picture

This sounds like my family.

My brothers are emotionally abusive, and one of them was physically abusivr toward me. My mother was present for all of it and never did anything about it. Once I had to call the cops on my younger brother because he kept attacking me and my mom couldnt/wouldnt stop him. She kicked me out of the house for calling the cops on him.

Needless to say, DH and I (secretly married) are marrying this fall and we aren't inviting my brothers. They havent spoken to me --their choice--in three + years. My mom is pissed and isnt speaking to me, and her mother and father are refusing to attend my wedding because they are mad also. My mom is super delusional and twists all of this around and blames me for pissing off my brothers and instigating...sorry, lady, but even a child who prods their siblings doesnt deserve to be thrown into dressers.

I am sorry you are dealing with this. Stick to your guns!

CrazieCoconut86's picture

Thank you bulletproof. I am definitly sticking to my guns. And I know how you feel about the brothers. My brother was into drugs (he is 18 months younger than me) in high school. When he didn't get what he wanted or was coming down, I got the crap beat out of me. I told the school counslor. Didn't do much good, my mom worked for SS, so nothing happened. I was afraid to go home after school. I didn't want to be alone with him.

He stopped messing with me when I called the cops on him one time tho. He stole my pain killers (prescribed after having 3 dental implants and crown lenghtening surgury.) He traded them for a pitt bull. It was a good dog, but the family dog was food aggressive with other dogs. I ended up at the vets office, spending $200 of MY money to have the family dog stitched up, while I was in a lot of pain. The cops said because he was still a minor at that time, that nothing would really happen to him if I pressed charges. But at least he stopped screwing with me.