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I am not crazy!

Cover1W's picture

So remember when I discovered my almost new jar of missing molasses? 

WELL, the other day when I was going to make more bread (I do this frequently so I know what I have in the cupboard) - my almost new bag of flour was gone. I had to double check because I just recently used up a bag, and used part of the new one. There's no way I could have used that big bag (I buy large bags) and not known it.

THEN I decide, fine, maybe I did forget...and decide to make some whole wheat bread instead. I just used up a jar of yeast, and I knew there was a new one in the storage area (the old one had a specific expiration date and I remember thinking, "Oh, I can use this up easy before opening the new jar.") NOPE - there is no new jar in the storage area either WTF!?  YSD17.

I told DH, well, you are not getting bread today or tomorrow morning because more of my cupboard items are missing. He says, well, I didn't take them. I say, Yeah, I know. There's only one other person (who cooks a lot at BMs, but not here) who would have done so and you KNOW I always write stuff on the list when I run out. DH says, Yes, you do. So I say, no bread for you until tomorrow afternoon (because I will make sourdough with my homemade starter). 

So I am going to inventory my freaking storage area this afternoon and there will be no doubt I am not a lunatic.  The Best is that YSD will not have anything to eat tomorrow morning - she will now only eat avocado toast in the morning. Not My Problem.

Oh, and yes, DH will be paying for the replacements and my time to go get them.

No, I will not confront YSD as we do not communicate much at all and I'm HARD disengaged. If I do the inventory and things come up missing AGAIN, then I WILL very much engage.


JRI's picture

My SD61 must often think, "She won't miss it"  as she lifts something of mine.  So, yes, I can't have my eye on every beauty product, garden tool, cleaning product, piece of jewelry but yes, I will eventually miss it and yes, I  know where it went.

SD61 has lately been buying us groceries with her excess food benefits.  She loudly proclaims her generosity and probably feels it compensates me.  No, I just want my stuff to stay here.

She and DH86 are proposing that she do house cleaning here.  If it were anybody else, that would be a good idea but I dont want her in the house. 

So, yes, I totally understand about your molasses and flour.  Your SD was thinking, "She won't miss it".


Lillywy00's picture

 Totally can relate about the hard disengagement especially after Disneyland parents don't hold their kids accountable for their inconsiderate behavior inside of your home. 

Rags's picture

allow YSD access under your direct supervision?  I would. And not subtly either. 

It should be full frontal in her face "you are a thief!" oversight and she should know that it is because she is a sticky fingersed shit.

The equal message should be "Your mother should provide you with these things at her home. The pantry here is not to fill your mother's failure to provide." If she wants to cook, fine, but if she uses so much as one grain of salt at your house, the food she cooks stays at your house. Keep that message forward as well.

Lather.... rinse.... repeat.


AgedOut's picture

before she comes by take a photo of your cupboards/pantry/inner fridge. Then you'll have proof. If she wants to bake at BM's, BM can buy her supplies, you're not her personal Piggly Wiggly. 

Catmom024's picture

Ooohhhhh...that's a good idea.   Photographic proof.  And easier than writing it all down. 

Cover1W's picture

Did this yesterday afternoon already! And will do Everytime she's over, especially when I stock up.

It's always been things from here go to BMs but never, ever the reverse direction. I'll never forget about two years ago she made a huge batch of gingerbread for school and taking to BMs. I bought all the ingredients for her. She looked ShockeD when I insisted she leave a couple pieces for us to enjoy. Had to remind her it was rude not to since she had plenty and DH and I paid for all of it. Plus it was around the holidays!

thinkthrice's picture

If your default cam app doesn't have an obvious date/time stamp, try open cam app.  Would be interesting to put a hidden nanny cam in your pantry facing out hidden by a box of something she wouldn't take  such as a can of Comet.

Survivingstephell's picture

You are working too hard at this.  If your ingredients are gone then your menu gets smaller until there is nothing left to serve.  No refilling.  He wants a favorite fish and she took stuff?  Sorry dude can't make it , don't have ------ , then maybe he will get pissed and either go shopping or make new rule.  Either way HE feels the pain of this situation.   And don't give me any excuse that you would "suffer" too because you need to eat.  You can make do during this training session.   

Every time you tell another example of this problem,   I just don't get it.  Stop over compensating for the dysfunctional.  

Cover1W's picture

Eh, I'm so not attached and don't hold grudges so don't care any more. But I don't forget how to prevent things from effecting me in the future. I do things on my own schedule. No ingredients, no bread. That was it. I made sourdough instead, which I was going to make today anyway. He just didn't have toast this morning. YSD still hasn't eaten and I don't care. Going outside to do some yardwork now!