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Update on Attendance Problems

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I was going to just respond in comments to my last blog about the SDs missing 26 days of school, but DF made a second call to the school today. He spoke to the head secretary who does all attendance. And, she told him that BM has been calling the girls in and 90% of the time, she states that the SDs are missing school because they are not sleeping well. I don't know how that is a valid reason to miss school but okay. DF asked her why the school hadn't contacted him directly. And here is the shocking part, BM actually doesn't have him listed on the records in the office. She has the girl's stepdad BigWeirdo listed as their father with his contact number. DF was so pissed. He had taken papers to the school after our last battle in court and had them put his name back on the contact list. But according to the school, BM is the custodial parent so she is authorized to make changes?? WTH? DF is going to contact his lawyer about this. Apparently, the front office wasn't aware that they needed to get in touch with him, but he is on the email list for both of the SD's teachers. BM also recently removed him as someone authorized to pick the kids up from school. Can she do that? According to the school, yes!

After reading the comments from my fellow bloggers, I advised DF not to call and chew out BM. He didn't but he sent her the following email:

BM,

I have spoken with the SDs teachers today. I was informed that they have missed 26 days of school. I was never informed of any prolonged illnesses for either SD. Can you please tell me what is going on? I am concerned as SD7's teacher states that her missing school combined with her forgetting her backpack has caused her grades to suffer.

We haven't gotten a response yet. DF told the school that he will be picking up documentation of the absences. This combined with some other things is making us both realize that we might not have a choice. We may have to move forward to try and change the custody arrangement.

Comments

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

GUBM did that to FDH - didn't have him listed as SD's parent in the last brick and mortar school she enrolled her in, so FDH couldn't do anything in regards to SD's school. And certainly had ZERO say when GUBM pulled SD out of the school a mere three weeks after enrolling her.

FDH kind of had karma in his corner when he signed SD up for online school here in PA. He told GUBM that he would list her as a parent/contact, but, that the school required a photocopy of her driver's license. GUBM never sent one so FDH couldn't add her. But, of course, she accused him of doing it on purpose to get back at her.

Nette5's picture

We have always tried to make sure that the schools have SS's current custody order on hand. Even now that he lives with us, there should be a copy of the custody order in his school records. It is a vital part of staying connected to where they should be spending most of their time, nine months of the year.

justbdais's picture

Hmm reading this post I thought I had written it myself. Apparently SS14 misses 26 days in each class this year (actually double this because he is doing a block schedule where he attends 4 classes one day and the other 4 the next) and the excuse BM is giving is that he doesn't sleep well either! Absolute nonsense if you ask me but what do I know I am just the evil stepmom.

Jsmom's picture

Why didn't he call her out on the permission information that she changed? She needs to know that he is forwarding the info to his lawyer. DH used to CC his attorney and that helped with some of this type of crap.

oneoffour's picture

And these are the adults of the future. Do these parents have any idea of the damage they are doing to their children? Bobby cannot get a job because he can't sleep 'well'. I haven't slept 'well' since before my first child was born 31 yrs ago. Melissa can't get a job because math is too 'haaarrrdd'.

We need serious help!