This is a bit long winded but there is a bit of a point...I promise.

I've disengaged a bit lately from not only BM but from my husband as well. I partially am just pouting because of how ridiculous I feel their behavior has been of late.

I accidentally walked in on an argument they were having on the phone last night. (He had waited to call her while I picked my son up from baseball practice, and wasn't finished by the time I got back.) BM was obviously over at her new boyfriend's house and was treating DH horribly. She was insisting on picking up SD9 tonight and meeting her new coach for lacrosse. I had already planned to pick her up because DH is taking my SD12 to softball practice, a team to which he is the coach. BM was very much putting on a show. She has never cared in the past about meeting any coach anywhere and not only that, she is very much willing to allow me to do the majority of the transportation. I have whined about her uninvolvement A LOT in the past. I didn't care much WHO picked her up myself, I also had zero intentions of meeting the coach. DH went round and round, I'm sure he was trying to dictate a bit of his authority being that she was being so unruly and it was our week with the girls. All I kept thinking to myself is that if he would just call her later, she wouldn't be trying to impress her new beau by putting on a facade.

So I just made dinner and tried to daydream of other things.

FINALLY, he told her to think about it and he would call her in the a.m. BM replied with "I won't be home". DH shook his head and said "that's fine, I'll call your cell." BM doesn't even have a house phone, so that made little sense. DH then came into the kitchen pouting about the conversation. I simply suggested that maybe he should have ended the phone call earlier, realizing right off the bat that she was going to be difficult because of her current audience. He just reiterated his favorite comment, "she's just been so great lately..." I smiled and began our argument with, "I guess it's all about your perception, because she has not been great in my book." So we engaged in a pointless discussion that resolved nothing.

On to my point.

My SD's spent last week with their mom on Spring Break. All day, every day. One can pick up some bad habits from a BPD in that amount of time...

This morning, my oldest SD12 was just ripping into SD9 about how "stupid" she sounded ~ "You should hear yourself, you don't even know what you're talking about". All SD9 was doing was bragging to her stepbrothers about her lacrosse team and being invited by her friend to play. SD12 just kept harping on her about how her friend didn't OWN the lacrosse team and she just looks stupid saying that she invited her. I finally interjected and told the little missy to settle down. Then I began a speech about how silly she was for caring so much about something she had nothing to do with. SD9 did not look stupid and I couldn't understand why she was so concerned. I also corrected her with the fact that SD9 was indeed invited by her friend because if it weren't for that friend she would have never known about the team. I also preached about how she should be careful when she calls someone stupid, it's an ugly habit and I didn't think she wanted to be viewed in that light. SD12 usually is very receptive and was rather agreeable/remorseful and ended up apologizing to her sister... and even me.

We all piled in the car and as the kids chattered, I began thinking about what a hypocrite I am. Here I am preaching to SD about not being so judgemental of her sister's otherwise harmless behavior, but I'm just overly disgruntled with my husband and the mother of his children and their otherwise harmless behavior. They are getting on my last nerve and I'm allowing it and I am definitely not keeping my mouth shut, I've even recently used the very word "stupid" in reference to them.

I just can't quite figure out how to change my perspective.