So I've been thinking about guilt. I was reading another post regarding a DH that parents "by guilt". You know how that goes, he feels guilty about the divorce so he gives his child(ren) whatever they want. Then another post was about a BM who overcompensates in insignificant areas of the child's life because she feels guilty about being inadequate in other aspects of her parenting. Or like the skids who won't hug their stepmom in front of their (bio)mom because of their own guilt of being disloyal.Yadda, yadda, yadda.
I have a different kind of guilt. I feel guilty for dragging my own kids into this whole nightmare. My boys who had nothing to do with a new stepdad and 3 stepsisters who are all consuming. The boys are constantly taking the back burner because everyone else is so stressed out. Don't they deserve a mom who cares more about their homework and sports than anything else? I'm too busy worrying about parenting plans and child support and an unruly BM of OTHER people. I have become a walking ball of stress and unhappiness who has little to no patience for my little buddies who are just being boys. This is not the mom they knew three years ago. Nor is it how I want to be a mom.
I feel like a failure today.