well... my bf doesnt pay child support either... but he is a good father to his son.. everytime when we go pick my ss up, the bm always send the same old clothes for him...every week...and my bf brought him plenty of good clothes but we never see it on him.... so when we go shopping for him we decided to keep the clothes at our house and not sent it with him when he goes back to bm house. anyways your wife is right oneday she will realize it..... my bf tells me that all the time too... and all i do is wait patiently and dont say a word and be the good sm to his son...

Oh Code I know exactly how you feel. I have 3 children from previous marriages and my FH has 3 children that he has full time from his previous marriage (and BM doesn't pay any support at all). 2 weekends out of the month all the kids go with their other parents. When they come back it is a nightmare! I really have grown to hate Sunday nights and Mondays. We go through what we like to call a major de-programming after every weekend they are away. I was just saying tonight that I want to be the fun parent, the one who doesn't have to worry about discipling the kids because I only have them 4 days out of a month. The one that doesn't have to deal with the day to day drama, but then I think about all the things that I would be missing out on if I only saw my kids and soon to be skids 4 days out of the month! I once read somewhere a quote that said, 'kids go where there is excitement, but stay where there is love'
All we can do is make sure that no matter what the kids know that there is a lot of love for them in our house and the rest will all work out (I hope!)
Good luck

My Ex doesn't pay CS, but I have no control over his actions. So I would hope that my BF wouldn't be upset with 'me' about it. It's hard for everyone involved when you have a parent that isn't meeting his/her obligations. But the children will always put their Bio parent on a pedestal and they don't want to believe the bad in them, no matter what they do at times. Atleast until they really open their eyes and are willing to accept their parent for who they are.

Maybe you can start putting money back to go on vacation, just take a little bit of money out each paycheck for a year, it doesn't matter if it's an 'expensive' trip or not, an 8 yo isn't going to realize the difference...it's about the quality not the quantity!

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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

First I understand your frustrations (my x was over 20,000 in arrears at one point). The thing is the changes you can make here are very limited. Your spouse can get the arrears taken out and eventually she will get them although yes, it might be when she is a granny. You can do nothing about what your schild's dad decides to do when she visits. I personally would rather for my own it be fun, fun, fun for them to be ignored or do nothing. Neither is ideal. I do think your sd will catch on later. Try not to make statements about what he is paying to her/it is so completely out of her control. Try to just take pride in doing what is right, even if others don't follow suit.

Ok, so he has money for Disney Land but not for child support? How is this possible? Can't your wife take him back to court (after the trip, of course) and use the trip to prove that he has money, but isn't paying the c/s? Maybe they could start taking more $$ out of his paycheck. That's what I would do.

The child support thing sounds weird. In Washington state DCS can garnish your paycheck without your say - as long as there is a court order.

I would think if you had an order for child support that you could take him back to court and argue that if he doesn't pay child support then he shouldn't get to see his daughter. Perhaps that would motivate him. And, if not, then contempt of court may do it. Especially if you have evidence that he goes on trips with her and buys her things. He obviously has money to take care of her.