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BM likes messing with DH

CLove's picture

It never ends and I know I should be above it. Toxic Troll will steal photos of Dh's family members and share them on Faceboook, will text DH comments about his fishing friends that she is supposedly involved with, and the latest is we have a bet "did so-and-so REALLY invite her to go fishing with him?" Toxic Troll loves fishing, and went with DH ALL the time.

Well, if she was invited, why didnt she go?

I told him "Toxic Troll is a liar, shes always telling you lies about different people to get to you. She knows all the strings to pull to pi$$ you off."

So, we have a $20 bet that she is lying about the so-and-so, which will prove my point that TT is a liar pants on fire.

Why does DH believe her???? He KNOWS she makes things up. She is always saying "you hit me', when in fact she hit him! This was in the past...and he absolutely would never hit anyone. So why is he believing her now?

So, later, when he comes home, he will in fact text this so-and-so, and ask him if her did in fact invite TT to go fishing as she is claiming.

I know its dumb. But easy $20.


Exjuliemccoy's picture

Ugh, the joys of steplife. Your man bred with a mentally ill person, and he is paying for it. We both chose to ally ourselves with men who bred with crazy, and we suffer(ed) for that choice.

All you can do is tell your DH to keep that crazy far, far away from you. That is his responsibility to you,  just as you should be working at disengagement. Seven more years, Clove. In seven years, on Munchkin's 18th birthday, your DH can block TT's number and never speak to her again. Start planting that seed now.

CLove's picture

But I always get one of two different responses:

1. "We will always share children together, so I have to keep her unblocked even after Munchkin SD13 graduates."

2. "I dont want to rock the boat, and pi$$ her off, it WILL get ugle".

Luckly its not 7 years but 4 years and 10 months :D! ANd only 8 months until the whole spousal support thing is over. bit by bit, each string to him is getting cut off.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I am SOOO freakin' happy to be wrong!! Four years is much better.

Well, if he can't or won't draw boundaries with TT, you have to draw boundaries with HIM.


tog redux's picture

Why does he even talk to her? I hope he ignores 100% of anything that doesn't have to do with his daughter.  And if she keeps it up, don't bother even talking about it or finding out if she's telling the truth or not. He should just think of it as spam.

She wants his attention and she's getting it.

CLove's picture

Ever since we have been together this 5 years, she always shares her dating life. Supposedly he is interested because of who will be around kiddo, if one even "sticks" as he sais.

So, NOW supposedly she is "working on" this dude that is tight in his circle of friends. And he is upset about it because thats his "safe place", and he doesnt want any of her intrusions. So, I get upset when she tells him lies about who is dating and its obvious they are lies, but he just believes her!

His quote "theres a lot of truth in the things she sais".

My point "there is a grain of truth in all her lies...and she lies constantly"

Tog, you know how it is.

I am using my "velvet hammer" to hammer into his head that if its not about munchkin SD13, she doesnt need to be texting him. 

tog redux's picture

I dunno - my DH never entertained any nonsense from BM.  He would never have put up with this kind of BS communication about nothing.

Goodluck's picture

Your husband DOES NOT have to be friends on fb or any other social media. My goodness. Hell he doesnt have to give her a cell phone number either. He doesnt have to legally text OR accept her texts. Good Lord.

Why does he think it's 'law' he does like, follow and provide private info to his ex.

A 30 a month land line OR ditch phone turned off and one once in awhile would be ok. OR just an mailing address she can send info back and forth to. Notice I didnt say email either.


Monkeysee's picture

I think your DH enjoys the drama & allows this kind of crap because on some levels he’s getting something out of it.  My guess is the drama won’t end when Munchkin ages out, your DH will continue to allow TT to stir up the crazy in your lives. 

CLove's picture

because you know, life goes on. Ive just been there through it all, from separation, to divorce, to remarriage.

Im hoping that things will change after there is no longer any kind of necessity through children to interact with the Troll.

But then there hopefully be grandchildren.

Monkeysee's picture

For your sake I hope it ends too, the fact he’s not willing to block her number once they age out though is absolutely a red flag. Even if there are grandchildren, he’s got no need to ever speak to that woman again. I’m sorry if I sound harsh, I don’t mean to, just based on your blogs it really seems like your DH feeds the drama instead of stopping it from entering your lives. That won’t magically stop once CS ends, especially if he feels the need to keep the lines of communication open ‘for the kids’. 

CLove's picture

I think that with time he will understand better. When the kids go off and do their own thing, he will get used to not having that contact.