Miss Ginger, you asked me, how do I keep my mouth shut?
Apparently I have said too much recently. My husband may be getting slightly suspicious that I know too much. He thinks I have a source. He thinks it may be his sister but not Aunt T that SD21 hangs out with and talks shit about me but Aunt S who is like a sis to me. My husband barely speaks to his sister T anymore because she is a 'bad influence on SD21' but also she stole SD away from us and SD likes to spend time over there instead of with daddeeeee but he gave her the guilt trip for that, "it's ok that you like them more than us, it's just a shitty feeling though".....who says that?? Oh my pathetic husband.
He actually asked me where are you getting all this information, who are you talking to? I think I need to be a little more careful what I say.
Today he sent me a selfie of himself in a mask. I asked him not to send things like that anymore. I'm staying at my mom's 4 or 5 nights so he misses me. He asked why I don't want him to send me pics. My exact response:
I've told you before, you send me cutsie pics/selfies of you and I think they are just for me. U even sent me a naked picture of you ON OUR BED and I thought it was for me only, turns out you sent that pic to others. (Before you freak, he was naked but you couldn't see anything but you could see he wasn't wearing anything AND he did NOT send it to his daughters) NOTHING is ours. NOTHING is just FOR ME, YOUR WIFE. I'm done competing. I cant win. Your desperate need to seek out attention else where is a huge turn off and made me feel like I'm not good enough. I've never been good enough. You chase the affection and attenion of you kids by guilting them...don't you love me? Pay attention to meeeeeee I'm you dadddeeeeee. I'm just being honest, I am so turned off. It's also emotional abuse to them and me. I cant get my emotional needs fulfilled in this marriage. That is why I'm so unhappy I'm going to have too look outside our marriage and within myself to make me happy You're not capable. You have a contant need to be reassured that you are special. I'm sorry that I didn't fulfill that and you had to chase it elsewhere. Please stay in therapy. You need it.
We didn't speak much the rest of the day.
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Who in the world did he send
Who in the world did he send the naked selfie to other than you?
Work friends and family, he
Work friends and family, he thought it was funny. He is in construction, they do weird things. I pray he didn't send it to his daughters and you couldn't see anything but he was naked and you could see that he was naked but no butt crack or private parts show. Honestly, I'd like to go back and see if he sent it to them. A few years ago SD21 sent him a picture of her size 22 ass in a thong because she fell on the ice and she wanted to show him the scrape. Her friend took the picture. How did I marry in to this shit??
The picture ended up going to
The picture ended up going to a company wide email. My son was an intern for that company but thank goodness was no longer at the time of this email. Ladies, goes to show you how quickly a naked pic goes viral!! lol
Your H's workplace sounds as
Your H's workplace sounds as dysfunctional and toxic as his family.
Pic of an employees's daughter's naked butt in a company-wide email? That should be grounds for immediate termination, whoever shared it.
not his daughter it was my
not his daughter it was my husband. not even my H would send naked pics of his daughter to a bunch of men
Whew! Still, I can't believe
Whew! Still, incredible that *any* naked photos were sent by company email.
It's a small family company
It's a small family company(not my H's family but he is like fam to them) that works with another small family company and my son worked for company #2 for an internship, thank goodness he was not part of that email
I work with a lot of dudes:
I work with a lot of dudes: they may send off-color gifs nonstop, but naked selfies would bring the group text to a screeching halt. Wtf.
Right!?!?!
Right!?!?!
I am the controller of a contractor and I am the only woman on the "group chat" - don't get me wrong, they send some inappropriate stuff that I find hilarious most of the time but if they sent selfies like that... yikes.
Uhh no sorry most men on
Uhh no sorry most men on group texts or emails don't send naked selfies of themselves to each other...are you sure your DH isn't in denial about his sexuality?
It might explain his inability to connect with you and his need to have his children love him and validate him.
Anything is possible at this
Anything is possible at this point but I don't think that's it. The naked pic was a lil weird, but the guys he works with, also weird. I believe it's all in fun.
I'm actually more concerned with the selfies he sends to his daughters. He sent one to me outside from a roof and he looked really cute and then I saw the same pic in a conversation with his daughters. Like here I am...pay attention to me. I felt silly being hurt but I was, I thought that was for me. Turns out he's not up on a roof thinking of me, he's sending out selfies to see if he can get responses. This was before I looked at his messages on a regular basis and realized how desperate he really is for love and attention.
I don't think you are silly
I don't think you are silly to be hurt, I think you are spot on. Spouses should have special things between them only. It's reasonable to expect that, especially with naked selfies, lol. At the very least he could say it's a funny thing he sent to all the guys do you know.
I totally get it. My SO only
I totally get it. My SO only ever calls me "bae." Never my name. So, when i overheard a convo between him and a coworker and he said "thanks Bae!" I lost it. And once he sent me a gym selfie. He then posted it on Facebook. As soon as i saw it i said "wow, don't i give you enough attention?" He took it down and hasn't done that again. Maybe try making him feel stupid by saying that? Idk. Attention seeking like that by grown men is a huge turnoff for me.
You gave it to him straight
You gave it to him straight with no chaser, Chmmy. And he didn't even want to discuss it? That's pretty telling.
I did get a response, an
I did get a response, an apology. No excuses like usual but he said there are things he didn't realize about himself, he will stay in therapy and sorry for letting me down.
Be prepared for him to twist
Be prepared for him to twist your words. Men like him are experts at guilting. "How hypocritical for you to say that you're not getting enough attention and you say you want to look elsewhere but you have a problem with me if I look elsewhere. You're an attention seeker too", that sort of shit. Maybe with lots and LOTS of therapy it'll sink into his thick head where he went wrong. But it doesn't matter now if he never gets it. What matters is that you do, and you can see his bullshit for what it is. Stand strong.
I am glad you told him how
I am glad you told him how you feel. I can't imagine seeing a picture that I thought was sent from DH to make me smile and feel that he was thinking of me only to find out he sent it to 5 other people too. Wow... I am just one of your imaginary fan club, huh? I would be checking out too!