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Cameras, lying and escaping

Chmmy's picture

I finally ordered cameras. Four of them. I took SS13s wifi privilege away for one hour because i had 5 kids here ...the 2 SSs and 3 of their cousins which i offered to watch because I love my in laws. All 5 kids were on devices and tv since they had got there the night before even the 7 year old so around noon i told the kids to  go outside and ill make lunch. All of them did except guess who. I gave him a half hour and I unplugged the wifi. He went stomping up the stairs and plugged it back in so i disconnected the cord completely. 

In the meantime, I made 8 sandwiches and 2 boxes of mac n cheese and a bunch of cut up fruit. In the hour it took asshole to come out for lunch most of the food was gone but there was mac n cheese left and he coulda made a sandwich,  hes 13. He went upstairs to his sister crying. Literally crying saying I made food for everyone but him. She went down and made him noodles and didnt clean up of course so i left the mess of 7 people eating all day for DH.  Fuck if im going to clean up(he did clean up). Then SS calls DH and says I only made food for 4 people(the other 4 kids) and made himself the fucking victim of the evil step mom because he knew he was in trouble and we wanted his wifi back.

Of course DH 'talked' to him. No consequences and he never has my back so now im the evil one who was mean to SS. Ive been gone for 2 days at my parents house and Im only back to sleep and pack and leave for my sons bday weekend but all if this is only temporary. I need to get away permanently because the awful thought went through my head that I wish I could kill myself but I dont want to do that to my son the day before his birthday. Im actually in the car in a parking lot down the street calming down before i go home to bed.

If you don't hear from me for days, please dont think omg she killed herself. No!! It was a passing thought. I wouldn't do that to my kids over DH and the skids. NOPE. I may not be around my phone  when im with my kiddo tomorrow. My kids' dad killed himself 2 weeks before Thanksgiving in 2014 when the boys were 20 &18 and away at college. I would never do that to them. DH aint worth it and while I feel trapped, I know I will get outta here. 

Edit: The point of my getting cameras in the house is SSs lies. If he'll lie to get his wifi back, he'll lie for anything. 

Comments

Aunt Agatha's picture

It sounds like you need some detoxing from the lying SS and your DH.

Of course we are always here for you, but don't hesitate to call the suicide helpline if you need someone to talk to: 1-800-273-8255

Stay strong!  You are worth it!

notsurehowtodeal's picture

That fact that your step situation made you contemplate suicide, even for an instant, shows you how bad your situation is. Use this as a "wake up call" to make whatever changes you need to make in order for you to be happy.

 

tog redux's picture

Time to leave - your brain is telling you so.   The bad outweighs the good now. This stress is not worth being able to work part- time, which I think was a big reason for staying? 

ndc's picture

What is keeping you from leaving immediately? You know this marriage is not going to last, so why waste another minute of your limited time on earth in this hellhole?

halo1998's picture

I comtemplated leaving this earth as the only way to leave...it is time to start planning your exit.   Sad to say but you DH will never have your back.  Either you leave or your DH is 100% responsible for SS.  Meaning..if he is not there..neither is SS.  The kid is 13 and will only get bigger stronger and will know he can get away with "anything" if DH is not there.  

Honestly, if he had plugged in the router after I unplugged it..the entire router would have gone missing and I would have called my DH to come get his spawn immediately.  

justmakingthebest's picture

I sent you a PM. 

Also- I am glad to hear that you are going to start your exit plan. While we feel trapped, none of us are. Sacrifices will have to be made and things will be really hard, but you are a smart, strong woman- you aren't trapped. 

OH! And good for you for taking that cord! Just make sure that it doesn't turn off your cameras when you do it. 

thiscantbenormal's picture

I dont think your husband cares that SS is a pathological liar.  He will use that spectrum crutch of "he doesn't know what he is doing because his brain is miswired".

EveryoneLies's picture

I for one really dislike the excuse like that. I'm fine giving anyone a second chance to explain themselves or reasonable doubts. But lying about something like this and said oh but that's my perceived reality is just NOT okay.

EveryoneLies's picture

Wow that kid is really some work. I bet he's also surprised when people don't want to be around him.

"Talking" to the kid like this doesn't help anything. I can't found how many nights DH had the "talks" with my ss and told me things will be better tomorrow. (Spoil alert, it didn't get better) If there's no consequence there is really no reason why anyone would change.