Jealous of my step daughter
So I have 2 stepdaughters. The younger one is awesome. I relate and respect her. She is independent and a go getter. Doesn't fuss about chores. Will roll up her sleeves and help. And more importantly her dad doesn't worship her like he does his oldest daughter who is 20. And you guessed it, she doesn't lift a finger. Now that we've moved in I'm baffled by her selfishness and self centeredness. Now to be fair, she is always respectful and kind. Never so much as looked at me sideways. Which makes my jealousy all he more shameful. And I know my BF feels the same way. "They are such good girls..." so he doesn't get why I'm so triggered. And I barely get why I'm so triggered. I just hate the way he still makes her lunch before going to work. I hate that he HATES doing the dishes and cleaning up but he'll do it for her so she's not grumpy about having responsibilities. It's just that when she's over is so obviously loose my first place. Even the little one resents her sister because of this. So the other day i got annoyed that my BF and I were cleaning the house and they left their cereal bowls in the sink. The entitlement that someone will just clean up after them kills me. I don't have kids but if I did I wouldn't raise them that way. Anyways, I've been in a depression the last couple of days because I am so ashamed to admit that I wish it was just the 15 year old and us. That my heart drops when the older one comes over. That I resent that I couldn't have my own office (I work from home and pay half of everything) so she could have her own bedroom. I hate her and hate myself for feeling this way. And I'm sure this comes from my own abandonment issues and trauma from childhood but I don't know what to do. Therapy has made but a dent in this problem. And bleed my BF heart, he's trying... he's still doing these things for her but he then stretches himself thin trying to be 'equal' and doing things for me. But it's like forced you know. Cause when she's here his organic focus is to win her approval, wait on her and then I'm the after thought. Many times I fantasize about leaving. And I was the one who pushed us getting a house together not realizing what this would be. I don't act out on my jealousy. But my face tells it all and my bf sees and it hurts him. And well there's just so much conflict. This sucks. Advice is greatly appreciated.