Alienation or Enmeshment...
So SS came today for a four day weekend. DH picked him up this afternoon. We live 4 hours from SS and see him 6 weeks a year on a long distance schedule.
BM started dating her GF in 2016. She has spent the last 4 years trying to convince SS that GF is "his other parent". He calls them both "Mom" and I honestly think he feels like they are more his parents than DH is. At one point, BM tried to say that DH was actually just a sperm donor and that GF and BM were his actual parents... yeah right, BM didn't meet GF until SS was 5. BM loves GF because it means that BM doesn't have to do any parenting. GF takes SS to school, to all sports practices, to all sports games, helps him with homework, makes his lunches, etc. all while BM does nothing. Tonight, SS showed me his planner and guess what, GF signed every page under "Parent Signature"... BM's signature is nowhere to be found. GF is leaving questions for the teacher and essentially being "Mom".
So tonight, DH and I tuck SS into bed. He is clinging to this stuffed Valentines Day bear. All the sudden, I notice a flowery smell coming from the bear. I ask SS about it and he says "Oh, my Moms sprayed it with their perfume because they thought I would miss them soooo much. So I smell it and I think of them..." WTF?! This kid is almost 9 years old.