First Week-end with SS without phone !
SS came to spend father day at home.
We decided to forbid his cellphone in our house, as MIL and SIL don't stop texting him to know what happens here.
It was just amazing ! SS was completely different ! Just as he was before. Nice, kind, polite ! Wouaou !
We explained to him why we forbid the phone : to avoid any drama. Phone creates occasions to make drama, so we cut off it.
He perfeclty understands. We finally found out the true and what was the purpose of texting that created such drama last time (we didn't know because MIL and SIL deleted all the messages they sent to him) when he said " I know. Last time i send SOS DANGER to grand ma and aunt, just to laught and everything went serious".
I just realize how those massive texting limitate his ability to enjoy the times with us.
Just ckecked the phone before he leave : 45 calls and 23 texts from MIL and SIL.
Really happy that we all enjoy the weekend together. And to prevent any future lies, we video recorded all the week-end : 100% protected by evil MIL
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I just realize how those
I just realize how those massive texting limitate his ability to enjoy the times with us.
Yep, this happens with kids and adults, alike. People cannot stay off of their phones. Where do you think kids learn it?
Just ckecked the phone before he leave : 45 calls and 23 texts from MIL and SIL.
Absolutely ridiculous. Do they not realize the stress and pressure they are putting on a child? It's not healthy. Not to mention, his own little antics.
Keep doing what you are doing and not allowing the phone.
Sounds like a lovely visit
But be very alert. You have set boundaries for these mad people and they are not going to like it. In between the 45 calls and 23 texts you can bet they were winding each other up and plotting on ways to take back control.
You are going to have to reinforce the boundaries constantly at first. Plus, you need to plan for their next attack. Is it possible that they could get BM to take you back to court to insist that SS needs a phone at all times? Could they report you to the authorities for an invented issue? They will be PASing you SS until the next visit.
General Answer
Hi all,
Thanks so much for support !
Yes, all those calls and texts... that's absolutely crazy and shows how much pressure they put on him to not enjoy the moment. Of course i took screenshots and add it to the ILs file i started thanks to futurobrillante advice.
These evil ILs want control over our life. They want me and my son (they hate him so much) out of the picture. And take back DH with "Theirs". As he cut links with them, they use the "last weapon" : the boy. Just in the middle of the big drama they said to DH "we can't afford to lose you, we only have you left !" Yes girls ! That's the way you treat people you are supposed to care for ? Absolutely dysfunctional.
I really doubt BM imposes SS phone when he is with us. She knows it's our rule now, and she is too happy to have week-end and holidays off.
However if she manages to go to court (they never been there.... NEVER!) and imposes the phone, we won't take him anymore. DH decided that in those conditions, he will see his son in public place.
And of course, ILs could report us to authorities for an invented issue. That's why we video record every single visitation with SS since the last drama. Plus, i'm constituting a file against ILs in case of problem...
So exhausting.
So exhausting.
What legal rights do in-laws
What legal rights do in-laws have anyway? They've got zero legal responsibility so 45 phonecall attempts fall under harassment. Harassment and mental abuse of a minor not under their direct care. Time to consult a lawyer. But regardless, while he's under your roof just block them.
Yes you are right, they have
Yes you are right, they have no legal rights. However BL gives them lot of rights as she send him everytime she can on her time to them.
Blocking them is impossible : they are friend with SS on facebook, instagram, snapchat and tiktok etc..
The only possible thing (and the right) to do is to cut off the phone. If BM wants to call, or if SS wants to call his mom, they can use our cellphones, just as we did before he gets one.
It never ends
Madam, It never ends, unless you end it. Good on you guys for teaching you SS that it is okay not to be at BM's beck and call. I applaud you for cutting off this interference in your life.
This happened to us yesterday. SD30 was visiting us with her 4 month old baby, and guess who was constantly texting the entire time she was here. SD finally got exasperated and stated, OMG it's mom again.
Yes terrific ! Here it's not
Yes terrific ! Here it's not BM who text all day long, it's MIL and SIL.
It's soo exhausting ! Thanksfully your DH realize it's insane to behave like that
Wait, so those 45 calls and
Wait, so those 45 calls and the texts, was that just one day or over a period of time? Wow.....its incredible how dysfunctional they are.
It was from saturday morning
It was from saturday morning to sunday at noon ! Yes so dysfunctionnal.
And when DH picked up SS on saturday, MIL was there and told SS "don't hesitate to call if you have any problems, i'll be there and nothing can happend"
Wow!
Just WOW! My heart goes out to you! I had a very similar circumstance with my insane posse IL's when my son was young. "Remember who your real family are" was their battle cry every time they saw them. In my case, BM was long gone and I had ADOPTED my DSS, but they just couldn't let go. You're on the right track documenting everything, as they will escalate the insanity if they can. My IL's didn't care how much they hurt my DH or DS, they just wanted me GONE!! My prayers and good thoughts are with you, best of luck.
Thanks Beenall for your
Thanks Beenall for your support ! How selfish are your ILs ! You adopt the kid, and then, always something to say. You are good to the child, you love him, you take him for family and it isn't enough.
Just stupid, and crazy... and crazy ...