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cam2016's picture

Submitted by cam2016 on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 6:12pm

Hello all, and thanks for reading if you are here.

Its been almost 12 years since I married my spouse and when i first married I was hesistant at first but I did it anyway because I had just gotten out of a prior relationship with the parent of my child.

Fast forward now, I am currently not working and have no social life and I feel dependent on my spouse for just about everything.

I dont like feeling that way but at this point Im not sure how to get out of the "pit." My spouse has one son from another relationship and although things are not horrible between me and my spouse's son (because I disengaged a long time ago) I dont see things developing into the way I would want or expect them to.

I think about leaving or divorce but the thought of starting over, rebuilding finances, and reviving my social life (friends, etc) seems a bit overwhelming at times.

Any thoughts are welcome guys.

Thanks.

Comments

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Sun, 10/18/2020 - 6:37pm

It sounds like you're depressed. Can you set aside time for your own interests an maybe take a class to start a new hobby?

Working gives a lot of purpose and meaning to your life and gives you something to think about other than just your family. Can you get a new job? Even just a part time one?you can make and save some money that you might need if you decide to split later. 

 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 10/19/2020 - 8:28am

Is there a reason that you can't do these things together WITH your husband? 

Start by getting a job, make plans to do something where you interact with other people, check out meetup groups in your area for common interests (socially distanced) but still with human interaction. Reconnect with your old friends for a girls night in at one of your houses.

Talk to him about finances and what you want to do in your life. What you are saving for, what trips you want to take together, retirement goals, etc.

Getting a new look life doesn't have to be without your husband.