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update on the BIG LIE

buterfly_2011's picture

I'm going to keep this short because I just feel sad today and out of umph and honestly just defeated. I confronted him on the lie. So this is where it stands. Papers to BM #2 have been sent out certified mail. BM #1 everything had been taken care of but low and behold when they did CS 4 years ago the CS order said He would pay her x amount not the full amount (it was a 100 difference). BUT out of the kindness of her cold heart she verbally told him the 100 less would work. WELL because of that verbal/hand written deal they had she is now coming after him for the last 4 years of that $100 that he wasn't paying that they agreed for him to not worry about. THAT is why he is giving her the extra. I told him that it would help if I was in the loop. It would help if he would just tell me. Yes I will be pist off. Yes it makes life hard for us but we will get through it. If he doesn't communicate to me what the hell is going on how am I suppose to know why he is giving her the FULL amount? All I knew was he told me it was reduced and he was going by that and then I saw a deposit slip. So after he told me what his lawyer said and then what she went and did. Now I understand.

On a different note BM #2 FINALLY after 6 weeks picked up her phone (well not her it was her hillbilly husband) to tell my SO that yes they would meet him today so we could see SS3. BUT we would have to put in extra driving time because well they didn't feel like coming the entire way. We didn't argue because soon we will be back in mediation regarding their LACK of everything due to the joint custody agreement and time with SS3. Right now we just sucked it up because we haven't seen him since the 5th of May. And normally I don't judge people by calling them hillbilly. But I'm sorry when you jump out of your vehicle with hands so filthy they are black and a big ol chew in your mouth and you hauk a nice spit right as you come towards us and you can't complete full sentences that is just down right disgusting. When you can't even pack the kid socks and he is in shoes with no socks (we have our own drawer for him at home) and because of the moldy smell of SS3's clothing we have to wash asap or our entire house wreaks..... or how about SS3 having filthy toenails and fingernails. What the heck? Smells like he hasn't had a bath in days. I know little kids get dirty I get that. But you can clip nails and you can give him a bath. Every time we get him we go through a routine

!. Wash all clothes. Meaning strip him down
2. Bath immediately
3. Pack up all the clothes they packed after washed and dryed.
4. Get him in some clean clothes from our home AND socks!!!!!!
5. Wash all blankets they send

After that we are good to go for the weekend. I pray that we get this child more so we can care for him. BM #2 has two girls from other men. A 1 year old from her current husband and one on the way from him. Then there is SS3 with my SO. We pray she has a boy so her husband may let go of some of his control issues regarding SS3. Making SS3 call my SO by his first name . It would be different if we weren't calling EVERY week for visitation. If my SO was a dead beat father.. but he is not. I just do not get these women.

On top of getting SS3 we also are picking up SS11 and SS14 for the entire summer. SD17 will also be picked up but she is going directly to her mother's mom's. SO made it very clear to her last night. She is staying there. We are not her cash cow. We will not be at her beck and call. And we will not give her money. She didn't get off her lazy ass and look for a summer job. She is going to go crazy. No money. No daddy taking her to and from 24-7. Hello reality. I can't wait. She said to him well aren't you going to come over and spend time with me. He said well maybe once or twice but it will be all of us coming over there. Not just me. So that will be your choice. And if you can't be respectful you CAN'T be a part of any functions. Period. Nor is she coming on our family vacation. I am freaken jumpin for joy over this.

I'm sure it will still be difficult with the SS's. Because they are lazy. Dishes cleaning etc. They are pretty bad about that. But to not have her there I think I can possibly handle that. I say that now and I'm sure it will change around 3 weeks of going home to a disaster of a house but I'll deal with that as it comes.