Traumatized?
Has ss3 been traumatized? This little incident keeps coming up. By him, by his sister. The story according to ss3 and sd9 goes as follows:
One day when skids were with BM/Bm's b/f (since she has no home) for their weekend visitation, everyone had packed into their 1,000 seater van to run some errands. BM, BM's bf, his 3 kids and her 3 (sd15 didn't go that time because BM's bf told her she wasn't welcome in his home for telling his son not to throw dirty socks in her face). Anyways, they go out, run errands, and in the evening return to BM's B/F's house - we will call him Dingus from now on. Dingus and his kids go inside. Sd9 and Sd5 go inside. BM goes inside. SS3 is still in the car because apparently he had fallen asleep. An hour later (according to sd9 - who knows if it was more or less) BM takes the other vehicle and goes to the store to get some groceries. It is evening time. She purchases her things and when she gets back she starts to head into the house when she hears lo and behold the sound of ss3 screaming and sobbing and pounding on the window glass of the van parked in the driveway. Apparently she (in quotations because this is what sd9 said Mom said) "had thought she put him in bed" and had left him in there. It has been at least 3 months since the incident and ss3 now gets very nervous about making sure he is being taken inside and not left in the car. He has a booster seat in her 1,000 seater van and he can undo his own seat belt so he was locked in the van, in the pitch dark since she lives in super rural nowhere left to wander around the car on his own.
Question ladies/gentlemen: Have you ever "not realized you didn't put your child in bed" or forgotten him/her in the car? I seriously want to know because ss3 is super upset by the whole thing and I want to know if this is a crappy BM thing or a it could happen to the best of us thing...
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If it's true it is a Crime.
If it's true it is a Crime. it is not normal. She's a crappy BM and o totally can't understan how 6 other people didnt realize it.
It is definitely true. BM
It is definitely true. BM sort of laughed it off when FDH brought it up and sd9 was quick to justify her behavior which was how the whole "She thought she put him in bed" thing came about. I can't understand that either except Dingus hates her kids and wants nothing to do with them and refuses to watch them even if they are running thru his house with knives. So if she went to the store Dingus wouldn't pay the least bit of attention to him missing. Dingus son14 hides in his room with video games, and Dingus son 12 does the same.Dingus son 5 is too little. Sd9 turns into a 5 year old at moms house and so she would be too busy trying to get attention from everyone to notice ss3 locked in a van. sd5 can hardly be responsible - she is 5. The general consensus is that it is BMs responsibility to be the house slave and do everything for everyone so they would just all bail out and leave her to get him out and if she forgot him then no one else would bother or care.
Nope never forgotten my kids.
Nope never forgotten my kids. I'm baffled all that time went by and NO ONE not BM, not Dingus, nor the kids realized and said something. How horrible!
What got me was that she went
What got me was that she went inside for awhile, came back out, and WALKED PAST THE VAN containing her child, got in her vehicle, and then went to the store. I can't figure out how she walked past it the first time and then spent time inside with him nowhere in sight. I can't spend 2 seconds with that child not up my ass. How could she not have noticed him gone that long? Also - what the hell would have happened to him if she hadn't gone to the store!?!? Would he have stayed the night in that cold vehicle? It was November when this happened. When would she have figured it out?
I don't know all of the
I don't know all of the details, but when DH was little (5-7ish i think), MIL and FIL would leave him in the car if he was sleeping. I don't believe they ever left him for very long, and it definitely wasn't enough to traumatize him, they all laughed about it over Christmas. However, DH wasn't THREE, could most likely get himself out of the car, and I doubt it was for more than 30 minutes or so. I believe FIL said that DH was too big for FIL to pull him out of the car/carry him inside, and DH refused to wake up to walk in, so he stayed there for a while.
I personally have never
I personally have never forgotten a child who was in my care & I'm not a BM.
I will start by saying that my mother is very scatter brained & she had SIX children who are stair step (six kids born in 6 years)...she left each one of her children, more than once, in random places in our younger years...from gas station bathrooms, malls & friends homes. I don't recall her ever leaving us in the car though. We seemed to view (most) of our "left behind" scenario's as exciting adventures. The youngest left at any point in time was 2 & she didn't want to leave the guard station she found at the zoo...apparently, they had cookies. Mom's lucky none of us ever got kidnapped.
Saying all of that however, none of us were EVER left locked in a vehicle for HOURS upon HOURS by ourselves in the dark...screaming in fright after awakening from a nap. Your poor little SS is rightfully scared about being locked away on his own again. I completely understand that. But...if your SD is still making a HUGE deal about it & talking about the incident, it will keep reminding him of what happened. He should be fine if you guys just carry on as usual..."it's okay SS, I couldn't forget you!"...I'd definitely talk to your SD to try to get her to stop "scaring" her brother.
Poor little guy. Can't believe BM would leave him there for THAT long! My mom usually realized one (or more) of us were missing within 2 hours...still not great, but we survived.
This happens A LOT...here in
This happens A LOT...here in Texas, they have started fining parents who leave young children in the car during the summer. I'm not sure if any actual charges have been pressed though.
This past summer firemen busted a car's windows out because the mom left 2 babies asleep in 100+ weather...she was shopping (kid free) & claims that she forgot them...another kid had to be hospitalized after having been left in the car OVERNIGHT. It's so very sad.
Definitely. My dd13 was 4 at
Definitely. My dd13 was 4 at the time. We had a mini-van. It was very late when we got home, I had a newborn (dd10 now) I ask my bf to make sure all three of the other kids filed in. He said he had, so I took my baby up stairs to change, feed, and put to bed. We went to bed ourselves. Then there is pounding on the front door, MY 4 YEAR OLD! She was asleep in the back seat and bf had "forgotten" to check!!
Needless to say she still doesn't let me live that night down!! Matter of fact she just brought it up last week, "hey mom, remember when you left me in the van" we laugh about it now, but it absolutely HORRIFIED me back then! And it never happened again.
SS3 was most DEFNINATELY
SS3 was most DEFNINATELY traumatized. I would seriously get him to a counselor before his fear and aversion gets any worse, because I would bet money that it will. What a horrible, horrible thing to happen to a small child, or ANYBODY for that matter! Can YOU even imagine if YOU were trapped in a car for three hours in the middle of nowhere and had no idea how long it would be before anyone ever came for you.. no food, no water, nothing. Holy Hannah! and 3 hours to a 3 year old is like 3 days to us!
Get this poor child help now! and what a horrible, horrible BM he has for doing this to him.. how can someone forget that their child is sleeping in the car??? How can someone not remember whether they brought their child in and put them to bed or not??? OMFG