I know you will all be shocked by this news... SD16 canceled again on her bday party at MILs….AGAIN. To recap this is the third bday party canceled the day of the party. Her bday was over a month ago.
BF is handling this fairly well. He’s hurt, but he has been dealing with bad behavior from BM, and now SD, for a long time. Over the last year as SD’s grades and relationship with BF really started to seriously deteriorate. He’s developed a slightly thicker skin and more realist expectation of his relationship with SD. In Crayon term, I think his dad goggle prescription is down to almost normal levels.
MIL on the other hand needs to get a grip. We went over to visit because she was SO upset about SD canceling again (This is the 3rd cheer her up after bday cancellation trip, it is getting old….). BF tried to convince his parents that they need to go with a new plan. SD16’s birthday and Christmas will be celebrated on the Sunday immediately following the event. If she can’t make that date for some reason, her presents will be mailed to her. No more of this trying up the whole family (including BIL and SIL) every weekend for a month+. No more putting up with this bad behavior. Good for BF. Took a while, but he’s seen the light.
Too bad MIL won’t hear of it. She “won’t give up on SD16” and said “SD16 told me she WANTED a party.” I should mention SD16 is the ONLY grandchild. After biting my tongue for as long as I could, I finally said, “MIL, remember when you were a teenager and adults would ask you to do something and you didn’t want to do it but you felt cornered or guilty or just unable to say no so you would say yes. Then you would spend all your energy trying to get out of said commitment by any means because you lacked the maturity to just say no, or to understand how you inconvenienced everyone when you bailed at the last minute. I said SD16 has been telling you no- she doesn’t want a party. No- she doesn’t want to go shopping with you. No- she doesn’t want to see you or FIL or BF or me. She has said no by saying yes and then canceling 3 times. This is clear teenage language for No I don’t want to do this.” Needless to say MIL just stared and me and then wanted to know if we could do a party next Sunday! I seriously think BF and I were talking to a brick wall. FIL is no help as the man had decided to remove his hearing aids for the weekend and just wanted to shout over everyone.
While BF has grown a spine with SD16, he apparently still has a ways to go with his mother because he was like “fine mom we’ll come over next Sunday.” After we left, I asked him WHY he is letting him mom plan a 4th party?!?!?!? He said if his mom plans a party he will go, end of story. He doesn’t want to hurt his mom’s feelings. Long, long Sigh. Because if BF is doing this to support MIL and I’m doing this to support BF I guess that means I have bday party plans next Sunday too. At least until SD cancels again.
Anyone want to take my bet that SD cancels by 2pm next Sunday afternoon?