To let you know what is going on. My wife has 3 adult kids. That I been supporting for the last 5 years.
Right now we have the 2 SS living with us. One has a 1 yr old daughter and a part time girl friend or wife?
Which has finally had a job fo the last 6 month. He let his truck payments get behind by 6 month plus and am the one who has to deal with.
A little over a year ago we lost the house to a fire. My wife had this before we marryed. My wife still get mad because I decided not to rebuild this house. Main reason was cost and bring the house up to new codes. The house was builded before in the early 1900's. But thier was also one I don't let her know ab out. The kids and her since to remind that was thier house, not mine. Even though I was rebuilding the house. Bring it up to date. She had let get run down over the years.
So it needed alot of work. It was hard doing all the work on the house knowing it ready did't like my home.
We have a new place, but my wife is still not happy here. Even with all the work to make nice and feel like ours.
We have other issue has well. I got in trouble the other day because I ask one of the SS to clean the bathroom they use.He complain to his mother (My wife). I was told not to do that again. Her answer was that my job. and am not to ask the kids to clean anything.
So as you can see I deal with a number of issues everyday.
You have to give "wife" the very clear message that you are an equity parent and that you both will put your marriage before all else including the Skid.
If you don't the Skid will not have the benefit of the example of a healthy mutually supportive marriage and you will always be the evil StepDad.
If your bride is incapable of understanding this message and whole heartedly participating as equity marriage and parenting parters then ...... find a new bride.
There are a bunch of viable candidates out there and they are not hard to find.
This is the first time that I every blog my thoughs last week. Today I sit here after all that has gone on since last week. I wonder where am I at in my life and my relationship with my wife. Thing's just don't seem right. I know when we have no kids around we get along
great.No pressure, no stress. I have notice that everyone from kids, grand kids and even her with family. They seem to get a free pass on thing's, but if I do something she dosn't agreed with or give my opinon I get the dog house you could say.
This weekend thier was a birthday party for her sister daugther. That turns 15. That is is big thing here in texas for girl's. I have gone to many of these over the last six years.Have dress up and everything, but time I went comfortable. I not party of the dance or have to do anything in the program. My wife I believe was a little mad because I would not get all dress up time. We were already having issue. We have five of the grand kids here at the house for week already. I find they are going to stand another week. She didn't even
tell me day before I was to take them back. It like I have no choice in the matter. To make thing's even more uneasy. I told 2 of the kids to stop playing in the bathroom. I was informed that I don't have right to say anything to them. This is the same with her adult kids that live here as well.
Here something that just don't set well. We are having money problems.Thing's are tight. But she is quick to tell me to go find a second job. She has told me that am no providing for her. because she has to work. This is we have 2 of her kids living here that help out zero. No rent, food etc. No cost to them. One has his wife with one child living here. The other we have him with three of his here for the last week in half. and am not doing my manly duty's around here.
We are schedule to take a few day's off, and go to sea world. We are taking the oldest grand child with us. This ready is not the time.. but I have not had bring all year yet. So got a hotel on priceline to save some money. Getting discount ticket's as well.
So what she tell me today she also want to take the 1 year old. I was hoping for some relaxing time. not this. I told her I ready don't want to take the baby. I say to her this was a time to relax. I don't know where this is yet. I know she still mad at me About something.
I know this is alot of issue, but am dealing with every day. Am just wondering if am just selfish and that is the problem or am I just getting equal right around here.I would like to hear other comments.
Thanks
You are far from selfish. You are supporting several of your wife's kids and gradkids. That is not selfish in the least.
Your wife is taking extreme advantage of you and you need to get this under control in a hurry or you are destined to be nothing but slave labor to your wife and her kids.
You sound like a man a woman would be lucky to have as a husband--you just don't seem to know it, and that's a shame. You want a wife who loves you and acts like it and a home you're comfortable in. You are not selfish to want these things. Especially considering how much you do for everyone else. They need to change to make these things possible or you need to find someone else who will make them possible--and from the sound of you, it will not be hard.
Comments
To let you know what is going
To let you know what is going on. My wife has 3 adult kids. That I been supporting for the last 5 years.
Right now we have the 2 SS living with us. One has a 1 yr old daughter and a part time girl friend or wife?
Which has finally had a job fo the last 6 month. He let his truck payments get behind by 6 month plus and am the one who has to deal with.
A little over a year ago we lost the house to a fire. My wife had this before we marryed. My wife still get mad because I decided not to rebuild this house. Main reason was cost and bring the house up to new codes. The house was builded before in the early 1900's. But thier was also one I don't let her know ab out. The kids and her since to remind that was thier house, not mine. Even though I was rebuilding the house. Bring it up to date. She had let get run down over the years.
So it needed alot of work. It was hard doing all the work on the house knowing it ready did't like my home.
We have a new place, but my wife is still not happy here. Even with all the work to make nice and feel like ours.
We have other issue has well. I got in trouble the other day because I ask one of the SS to clean the bathroom they use.He complain to his mother (My wife). I was told not to do that again. Her answer was that my job. and am not to ask the kids to clean anything.
So as you can see I deal with a number of issues everyday.
Thanks for your reply.
You have to give "wife" the
You have to give "wife" the very clear message that you are an equity parent and that you both will put your marriage before all else including the Skid.
If you don't the Skid will not have the benefit of the example of a healthy mutually supportive marriage and you will always be the evil StepDad.
If your bride is incapable of understanding this message and whole heartedly participating as equity marriage and parenting parters then ...... find a new bride.
There are a bunch of viable candidates out there and they are not hard to find.
Good luck and best regards.
This is the first time that I
This is the first time that I every blog my thoughs last week. Today I sit here after all that has gone on since last week. I wonder where am I at in my life and my relationship with my wife. Thing's just don't seem right. I know when we have no kids around we get along
great.No pressure, no stress. I have notice that everyone from kids, grand kids and even her with family. They seem to get a free pass on thing's, but if I do something she dosn't agreed with or give my opinon I get the dog house you could say.
This weekend thier was a birthday party for her sister daugther. That turns 15. That is is big thing here in texas for girl's. I have gone to many of these over the last six years.Have dress up and everything, but time I went comfortable. I not party of the dance or have to do anything in the program. My wife I believe was a little mad because I would not get all dress up time. We were already having issue. We have five of the grand kids here at the house for week already. I find they are going to stand another week. She didn't even
tell me day before I was to take them back. It like I have no choice in the matter. To make thing's even more uneasy. I told 2 of the kids to stop playing in the bathroom. I was informed that I don't have right to say anything to them. This is the same with her adult kids that live here as well.
Here something that just don't set well. We are having money problems.Thing's are tight. But she is quick to tell me to go find a second job. She has told me that am no providing for her. because she has to work. This is we have 2 of her kids living here that help out zero. No rent, food etc. No cost to them. One has his wife with one child living here. The other we have him with three of his here for the last week in half. and am not doing my manly duty's around here.
We are schedule to take a few day's off, and go to sea world. We are taking the oldest grand child with us. This ready is not the time.. but I have not had bring all year yet. So got a hotel on priceline to save some money. Getting discount ticket's as well.
So what she tell me today she also want to take the 1 year old. I was hoping for some relaxing time. not this. I told her I ready don't want to take the baby. I say to her this was a time to relax. I don't know where this is yet. I know she still mad at me About something.
I know this is alot of issue, but am dealing with every day. Am just wondering if am just selfish and that is the problem or am I just getting equal right around here.I would like to hear other comments.
Thanks
brb, You are far from
brb,
You are far from selfish. You are supporting several of your wife's kids and gradkids. That is not selfish in the least.
Your wife is taking extreme advantage of you and you need to get this under control in a hurry or you are destined to be nothing but slave labor to your wife and her kids.
Good luck and best regards.
You sound like a man a woman
You sound like a man a woman would be lucky to have as a husband--you just don't seem to know it, and that's a shame. You want a wife who loves you and acts like it and a home you're comfortable in. You are not selfish to want these things. Especially considering how much you do for everyone else. They need to change to make these things possible or you need to find someone else who will make them possible--and from the sound of you, it will not be hard.