You are here

Everyone apologized

Bluestme's picture

I took a week for everyone to  cool down. Sd, myself, and ex-FDH. I sat down with ex-FDH and talked. He apologized for how he reacted. I apologized for saying the things I did to Sd. He understands why I reacted the way that I did but after this, me and Sd would never be able to coexsit. So we are offically over. I asked him if Sd has cool down enough for all three of us to sit down and talk. I still need to apologize to her for closure sake. 

We did. I told Sd that I regret saying the things that I did. With all that was going on i.e losing my baby and dealing with the depression afterwards, my fuse was short. But that didn't give me an exuse for saying the things that I said and that I was truly sorry. She accepted and apologized for breaking my plate and bring up me losing my baby. ex-FDH is going to reimburse be for the plate. He told me to take as much time as I need to find a place.  I WANT to leave ASAP. He moved into the guest bedroom while I'm still residing here. I'm looking for ANYTHING. I just want to move out. 

The atmosphere here is so awkward. ex-FDH and Sd leave early in the morning. He drops her off to school, picks her up and they stay out doing their own thing. I do the same. The house is empty for most of the day usually now .I been doing over time at work. I've been packing like a maniac and looking for places to rent. I applied for a couple of fully furnished apartments and just waiting to hear back.

 The first green light I get, I'm gone! 




tog redux's picture

Well, that's mature, I suppose.

I think you dodged a bullet and I hope you will see that someday.

Bluestme's picture

Thank for that. I will. I don't I want to date anyone with kids. Or only date men whose kids are adults and have launched. 

But right now, I need to focus on myself and get through my depression. Dating can wait. I come first

tog redux's picture

Yes, for sure, take care of yourself.

And having kids is not the issue - take a close look at how a man relates to his kids, no matter what their age. That's where the problem lies. Not all men with kids act like your ex-FDH did. And plenty of men with adult kids still let them be mini-wives.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

from Florida.  Be kind to yourself.  I am glad you apologized and owned up to your part in the fiasco BUT you experienced a tremendous horrific loss, the loss of your child.  You should have been coddled and comforted and made to feel safe and secure and cherished and loved to heal from the trauma.  The very opposite of that happened to you so of course you lashed out angrily and bitterly.  But again I say that never would have come from you if your fiance and SD had wrapped you in a cocoon of healing love.  They didn't.  They let your drown in depression and instead of saving a drowing person they were dumping heavy objects on you while you were flailing in the water.  That says something about their character and their characters not under stress.  You acted not like yourself.  I hate to say it but I will.  The way they treated you at your very most vulnerable speaks of their values and moral.  So forgive yourself and I think you are so right to move out and go out there (when you are ready) and gain a life.  A happy life with people who truely and deeply care about you and your well being.  And then you will have a baby.  You'll see. 

StepUltimate's picture

Oh Blustme, my heart goes out to you. Praying you find just the right place. Please keep us posted, please take good care of yourself. 

StepUltimate's picture

Maybe print some fake cruise tickets & hide'em in the same place... see what happens. 

somethingwicked's picture

You have my very deepest sympathies in the death of your unborn baby.

I cannot imagine that grief.And I cannot fathom how your ex-fiance could treat you so shabbily and allow his 16 year olddaughter  to minimize,undermine and belittle you while you were in the throes of this grief.

Please know that you are amazing for reaching out to forgive them and seek forgiveness.That speaks volumes to YOU and your class act quality .The best.

There is a silver lining here,honey ,and it is that you dodged having to suffer through any more time with this weak man and his bully of a daughter.

I hope you find that apartment asap and that life is very good to you.Please continue to get treatment for the depression and grief. You are so worth only  the best and everything good in life .I am pulling for you.




theoldredhen's picture

The fact that Bluestme chose to respond to rank injustice with forgiveness and dignity is a testament to her character. Her SD is such a nasty piece of work that she'll eventually bare her own backside.

My hope is that her father will realize that he has sacrificed a woman of integrity for a shallow, selfish sociopath. This story has made me so indignant that I'd love to see the karma bus run over DH and his brat! GRRRRR! Aggressive

Dovina's picture

But I will add "I'd love to see the karma bus run over DH and his brat AND reverse and run over them again!" 

OP you are one genuine person, who shows accountability for your words (which BTW I do not blame you for). Your DH ended a relationship wih a gem to keep his little B**** happy. May fleas of a thousand camels infest their dysfunctonal. emotional incestual home Wink

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Good luck, op. I believe you had nothing to apologize for but I understand you needing to bury the hatchet for your own well-being.

 I hope you find freedom from StepHell ASAP, girl.

NEVER enter StepHell ever again!!!

Siemprematahari's picture

Take care of you Blue and know that in time you'll see this worked out all for the best. I know it hurts and you're reeling from the motions but you got this and you'll make it through.

Sending you love & light!

CLove's picture

To you on this very difficult journey. Good news! You made it out of Stephell! Now you can focus on getting your life on track, instead of being miserable and giving your light to cretins who only love themselves. You will be stronger and healthier and your life with someone who cherishes you will happen. Horrid people deserve each other. Misery loves company.

You on the other hand - my wishes for you are to find a lovely place and have an awesome job and be with people who appreciate you.