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Disengaging or doing ALL of the housework???

baseballgirly's picture

Since I've completly disengaged, SO has been very supportive of me keeping my space from his kids. He understands that not everyone is going to think his kids are the be all end all and want to be around them and hang out with them. That said, he's been keeping them out of the house when they are here, but now he's doing jack shit for chores around our house!!!! WTF?!?!? I didn't see that one coming!!! The weekends are when he does any form of his share of any chores (I still do more as I have more spare time with my job) but now he's cut himself pretty much down to nothing!!! Argh... Just can't win.

I dream of days of no kids-ever- and my own house with my own things and no one to bother me telling me their shitty ass whiny kids are coming over.

*Shudder* I hate those kids. To help make my hatred towards them grow... they keep getting fatter. Wonder when a parent will step up to their parenting plate and teach them about calories??

I feel like I could write and write about how much I dispise those kids. Talk about why I hate them... what made me hate them.... my mind and all my thoughts are taken up with how much I resent and dispise those damn kids!! AND THEY AREN'T EVEN HERE UNTIL FRIDAY!!!!



bi's picture

i feel for you. sd is 20, but she was 12 when fdh and i got together, and i felt like she was never gonna get older and get GONE. i still have to deal with her and i still hate her, but at least it's not eowe, every school break, and the majority of the summer. at least she's not living here anymore like the awful year i had to deal with her EVERY DAMN DAY.

i used to get worked up on thursdays when i knew her bitch ass was gonna be here the next day and stay all weekend. it really sucked to dread the weekend because of her. she just drained the life out of me. i still hate the way i feel when she's around. she brings this heaviness down on me. i feel dark inside. she has very negative energy, vibes, whatever you choose to call it. i can't even hear her name without getting a mini flood of adrenaline from the fight or flight response. i hate having such a visceral reaction to her. i wish i could get to a point of just not giving a shit. but i'm not there yet. i'm still hating her. maybe if she would ever let up with her non stop bullshit i could move on to indifference.

Hanna's picture

Im with you baseballgirly. is this what it really comes down to?! dreading the weekends and spending alone time, just to escape the skids?. I was hoping this would get better but Im finding that the older they get the harder it gets. Its easy when they are young (or maybe it was the fact that DH and I weren't living together yet) but now I feel like sd12 is so pretentious! Drinking coffee, wearing makeup, high heels, but not lifting one stinkin' finger around the house, she has attitude and often just buries herself in a book. GGRRR!

Tell DH that he needs to do his share of chores IN ADDITION to any playtime with the kids. Fair is fair. I don't do DH's or his skids laundry (eeek :sick: ) and we tend to cook together. I made it very clear to him from the get go that I wasn't gonna do extra work just because he was brining kids into our relationship. His kids his responsibility!

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

I hear ya!

I hate mine too.

The 15 y/o step-shit is 80 pounds overweight and his bioparents do squat about it. They let him sit in front of the computer every waking hour only getting up to shit or eat. I hate him.

During the Summer he stays up all night eating everything he can get his fat hands on.

I used to worry myself sick over his eating habbits and H and I would have rowing fights over it for years. Finally one day I said to myself - if he doesn't give a shit about how fat his fat-assed kid is, then neither do I. I haven't said much about it for 2 years now.

Obese asshole. I don't think I can take 3 more years. All he does is eat, shit, fart, sit or lay and watch tv and play computer games.

He does manage to waddle around the school but we have to drive him and pick him up. I could give a rats ass if he gets diabetes.

I eat clean and work out 5 times a week so there is healthy food available.

Think positive's picture

Why do step kids trigger this level of hatred? I'm very easy going, and honestly like almost everyone I meet. Except his kids - SS18 and SS16. When my DH and i met, these unbelievable jerks were living half way around the world with BM, and I actually looked forward to meeting the "good kids" my DH clearly missed and enjoyed being around. We lived together for 4 months before their first visit. I had no idea what i was in for those first holidays- that I could be that miserable - the kids are obnoxious, self-absorbed, arrogant, stupid, totally unengaged, and obsessed with violent video games and paintball. Basically 2 completely horrible people who immediately assumed I was old, boring and irrelevant. For the first time of my entire adulthood, I actually found that I was bored when spending time with them - they're so unintelligent and uninteresting, and uninterested in anything worthwhile, and never enjoy anything at all. Its just draining. It sucks all of the fun out of life - suddenly nothing you can think of is at all enjoyable because DH wants to bring the kids (they'll want to join us! No they won't actually, they'll complain the whole time and be sarcastic spoiled arrogant pricks).
So my DH and I limped through a series of excruciating visits for the last several years, with summers being the ultimate 6 weeks of misery (where I seriously prefer being at work to having to being in the same room as those jerks). But the rest of my life was great - they would go back to their far far away home overseas and I wouldn't see them for 2-3 months at a time, some years as long as 6 months (bliss!).
Well, 4 weeks ago BM moved back and is now living with SS16 just a few miles away. SS18 is at an overpriced ridiculous school after completely screwing up on the SATs because he is really not smart and is also lazy. And now the visits are frequent and are always hanging over my head like an open threat. Any second my DH's insanely clingy multiple texts, voicemails and e-mails will be returned by SS16 because he'll need a ride or something, and no matter where we are suddenly superdad will whip out the cape "whoosh!!" he's mentally a million miles away, miserable, and obsessed with seeing his son. I hate superdad almost as much as SS16...
Why is it so annoying?!? Do I really want to live like this?

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

I can relate my dear. I'm living the same life.

H knows I am on my way out so he is enticing me with my dream home.

Teenage stepshits are the WORST thing that has ever happened to me. I cannot stand them!