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Unhappy boy

audi_coupe.tt's picture

The Counselor

To make a long story short (shorter) I’ll jump right into it. My Skids see a counselor regular, and after the fiasco with the school counselor going behind everyone’s back and allowing the kids to call from her cell phone, and email BM (who was the counselors “special friend” while the kids were in her session at school. An outside counselor is now involved.

Today is the first day with the new outside counselor. I told my SS11 I would be picking him and his sister, my SD6 up after school. He wanted to know why, they normally ride the bus after school. I was told him he had an appointment with a counselor. He began whining and going on about he already spoke with the other school counselor and she wasn’t allowed to let him call his mother from school any more, and how they can’t help, how it wasn’t fair. I explained they could call their mother anytime they wanted, and that wasn’t something that needed to be done at school. The children are allowed to call email write letters to their mother who lives out of state whenever they ask. He then gets mad and starts in on how he already has told the other school counselors everything that goes on in our home, and he’ll get his father, and they know everything his father does to them at home. I’m like what are you talking about?

He is the most ungrateful spoiled little boy ever. I’m tired of it. I don’t trust him, SS lied during the divorce proceedings before. His mother told him to tell lies if he loved her, and if he wanted to live with her. I’m afraid that SS11 is starting this again. A jury decided BM wasn’t a fit mother and gave custody of the kids to their father. Their mother got remarried a month after the divorce and moved 1200miles away.

My SS11 can’t stand rules and with 3 children in our house we are strict parents. He knows he gets whatever he wants from his mother. He is always saying he wishes he was an only child so he could get his way all the time. (His mother is also pregnant again but I don’t think he understands he will never be an only child again even if he lived with her) We try our best to be firm and consistent but always fair. I don’t expect any less from them as my own child. This situation is getting ridiculous. My husband and I’ve talked about the what ifs of SS moving to his mothers, and my husband tells me if SS does ever move there he is lost. He knows that BM won’t encourage schooling, and discipline SS will be left to raise his self since she’s so selfish. He is a lucky little boy to have what we provide and to hear him bash his father and act like we are some kind of monsters just really gets me. I really feel so sad about it all.

Comments

smdh's picture

Sad I know this feeling, Audi. My dh and I have discussed this very situation. If SD ever lived with her mother full-time, her life will be ruined. As it is, she has only a 50% chance of not being a mini-BM (not working, entitled, irresponsible). We work hard at trying to raise her right, but it is undone every week when she goes to her mother. ANyway, she lied in the past about our being abusive. Fortunately, everyone figured out that they were lies and that they were planted in her head by her mother. Unfortunately, I had to tell my dh that if she does it again, she has to go. I can't risk her lying about me and putting my child at risk.

audi_coupe.tt's picture

We have filed a complaint against the said counselor and she's not allowed any contact with our children. She's under investigation. We are trying everything we can. I feel she really did some damage especially when it made our SS feel so guilty and bad. I guess she was trying to help him, but went about it in the wrong way. Yes my husband has had previous meetings with the new counselor and he is aware of the past and all of our history with the whole situations.

audi_coupe.tt's picture

She lived across town for a while and it was daily drama with her. She caused numerous scenes at school, at home etc. I don't know what exactly she says to the kids. I know she called the school and set up counseling with the school counselor, and the school never notified us as custodial parents. The counselor there was allowing them to call, and write from her office. My SS told me one night how he was a bad person that he was a liar, and doing bad things, that could hurt people, and then all that came out. It' like BM just wants to do everything possible to be a thorn in our sides. They call her from the house; I don't understand why she would set school stuff up. She's very sneaky so I'm sure she has some reason up her sleeve. Just like last year when she called the school and took herself off the emergency contact slip. Just so she could try to take us to court saying their father was denying her a parental right by having her listed even though she lives across the country. As you can imagine that didn't work out to well in her favor. I like your word "seduced" that's how I see my SS relationship with his own mother. LOL I agree that one day he will see the light and his mother is a nut!

audi_coupe.tt's picture

LOL a mini BM that's my fear of our SD6 it's amazing how much she's like her at 6! Scary! Another unemployed leach on society ; ) I'm lucky the Skids don't see their BM every other weekend since she moved off, but as visitation approaches their behaviors typically get worse. The courts, CPS, counselors, all have seen through past lies, but it's always a scary, nerve racking time for us. It worries me that this could affect my daughter. Lord help me if my own ex husband gets wind of that drama if indeed it happens again. I feel so bad for my husband he is a really hard worker and such a wonderful man, father, and provider I know the kids will realize this one day, but that day can’t come fast enough. I just want to shake some sense into them sometimes LOL!

hismineandours's picture

My ss14 does so much better when he has no contact with mommy. He's been with us for about 2 months now and she has called him twice-because hsi birthday is coming up and she wants to throw him a big bash! She hasnt seen him in 3 months, pays no child support, does not parent him in anyway-but yes wants to have a big party for him.

I've noticed that she really seems to bring out the manipulation in him. Years ago he was always very manipulative, but I've not seen alot of that in the last few months EXCEPT when talking to bm. Both times he told her how rough he had it here-he has to do soooo many chores, he doesnt have any furniture in his room, no cell phone, cant get on the internet, blah, blah. This is what he chooses to talk to his bm about-the one he's seen 3 times in the past year. The one he typically speaks to for only 10 minutes every couple of months. You'd think he'd ask how his siblings were? How she was? Maybe tell her about his new school. A friend or two he's made. Maybe he might even bring up their relationship, or lack thereof-but no, in his limited time he chooses to talk about how rough he has it at our house.

I dont even know that i particularly blame her or him-it's just part of the sick dynamic they have going on.

audi_coupe.tt's picture

Yep sounds like my house! At least I know that there are other parents out there that really understand my situation and it makes me feel a lot better!