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Jekyll and Hyde returns

ExhaustedByItAll's picture

I’m a little late in posting, I swear I have no time to myself anymore.

But we ended up having a decent Halloween given the last few weeks of hellish buildup to it. <!--break--> DH put his foot down with skids, get a costume and go trick or treating in our neighborhood, or stay in. SD pouted, wouldn’t stop running her mouth, swearing at DH, calling everyone and everything stupid…long story short, SD stayed home, DH said no trick or treating for you. SS on the other hand…

SS had been taken over by an alien that weekend.

That’s the only explanation I have. 

He was so happy to do anything, he was (dare I say it?) polite and nice to all of us 90% of the time. Super happy about decorating, costumes, trick or treating, all of it. As long as SD wasn’t in the room, he was happy happy happy SS. He asked to give T hugs, was genuinely being nice to T, even held T’s hand trick or treating and helped T with the overflowing candy bucket (and didn’t steal T’s candy).

The only time SS turned it on was 1. when SD was doing it and ordering him to come with her, he would mimic her attitude and responses to DH, nothing directed at T or me and 2. Monday morning before DH took them to school, he just switched it on with DH, screaming, swearing, yelling at DH to go f himself, all because DH asked him to pick up his room before he left.

Who is this kid?? It’s Jekyll and Hyde. DH and I are not letting our guard down, but I feel like a crazy person trying to explain how SS can be so nice and even kind one second and the next, he’s a malicious, angry, abusive little psycho. It’s like dealing with multiple personalities. I almost want to name them so I can ask, who am I talking to right now?

This has happened before, it won’t last, but it was nice to have a break for most of the weekend from the usual SS.

On a side note, when he is in one of these moods, SS talks and talks and talks and talks, there is no stopping it. So I got about 90 minutes of SS ramblings while we were trick or treating which included that the “special costumes” that BM ordered them didn’t come in time so she told them just to give her the money back! I asked him what his costume was supposed to be, “I don’t know, she just said I would have liked it.” Seriously?! So all that build up, over a month of crap about doing Halloween at BM’s and she didn’t even buy them costumes. It was all BS. Oh the joy. 

At least Halloween itself ended with a happy SS, a super happy T and buckets and buckets of candy. I’m sorry DH had to miss trick or treating to deal with SD, but even he disengaged from her and did the decorating and costumes and pictures with SS and T. T also had a little Halloween party on the Saturday so we were out most of the afternoon. DH and SS did some more stuff together while we were out. He said SD just wanted to stay in her room on her phone and he’s so tired of the attitude he just left her to it. 

SD has become all about “You don’t let me see my friends! I never get to see my friends when I’m here!” She does, they both do, we just can’t let her go all day and all night, we have to drive her over and pick her up to bring her back which is 40 minutes to an hour round trip with traffic. But I'm guessing that's the new ploy from BM, “you can’t see your friends on your weekends at dad’s”. Honestly, it is 3 nights every 2 weeks. You can’t go 3 nights without seeing your friends? Maybe I grew up differently, but I don’t remember seeing my friends every day or even every weekend. I know my parents didn’t drive me all over to go see them and even the ones who lived close, it wasn’t an open door policy, their parents had plans too!


tog redux's picture

Is SD older? It's not uncommon for the oldest kid to help with alienation efforts. Now you know that divide and conquer is a good strategy for them. 

ExhaustedByItAll's picture

We've done divide and conquer before, unfortunately a lot of SS depends on which one of him shows up that weekend. If he's already in that bad mood, there's no changing it.

I'm waiting to see who we get this weekend, they've been spending a lot of time with BM's parents, that either means SS will be angry because he's spent no time with BM and been alienated to the hilt by her parents, or he will be super happy to get attention from DH. Cue the anxiety. I'm trying to tee up some play dates for T to get us out for a bit either way.

justmakingthebest's picture

My SS (up until this last year) had been great when he would show up. Nothing but laughs and smiles and "I missed you"s. When he was gone- DH was a POS and not even a father to him. It is the most bazar thing I have ever seen. No one understands it. I am saying all that to just tell you to keep your guard up. There is no telling what any of them are up to!

ExhaustedByItAll's picture

SS will tell anyone how much he hates DH and me and T, we're "Not his family!" and then turn around and give DH or T a hug. It's so messed up.

JRI's picture

My impression, as a 76yo veteran of 5 kids, is how stable you and DH must have to be with these kids.  All kids have some mood fluctuation and who knows what kind of PAS might be going on but you guys must maintain a steady, stable model.

SeeYouNever's picture

Some kids learn that you catch more flies with honey, it's probably even more effective for SS since SD is such a brat. 

Kids in general are manipulative and they go through stages of trying different strategies. If he does something you like give him lots of positive reinforcement and it might stick for a while.

ExhaustedByItAll's picture

I couldn't agree more, but if he wants to manipulate by being nice to all of us, I am all for it!