3 weeks
Is it bad that the only reason I think we’re being allowed to keep the kids so much right now is because their mother not only has a new boyfriend but them being with us means she isn’t having to use their child support on them?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m more than happy to have them the extra time. We would love to have primary of them but their mom got it because of school.
Anyways before the divorce and child support she was so hateful. We constantly had to send pictures of the visitation agreement just to get the time it gave. Extra time was almost always a no. When she “lost” her weekends because of holidays she’d throw a big fit about how she didn’t get to see them and it wasn’t fair.
Now that she’s getting over 400 a month in child support and has a boyfriend and she’s asking us to get them earlier and earlier. We’ll have them for almost 3 weeks this visit because of her requesting we get them early, his normal time, and a prior agreement they made to adjust the visitation. We expected her to try and reverse that agreement because of how long we’ll have them but not a word about it.
Again I’m glad we have them but she hasn’t even called. There’s not a single question about how are they. On top of that we have a pretty good idea that she’s been in the same city as us a few times over this visit. Before if she was going to be around she’d pretty much demand he let her take the kids to lunch. But nope. Not a word.
- I don't trust her's blog
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Document EVERYTHING. It may
Document EVERYTHING. It may be time to have CS reevaluated.
I have been
I have been
He got bowled over in the divorce order. He could show that he was the better parent but both the children were already enrolled in school so she kept primary. We were told by the lawyer to keep documentation on everything. We are trying to build up a record showing he’s providing most of the care and then request at least equal time with no child support. The oldest has expressed that she wants equal time between homes so we really want to give her that. She’s still too young to really say anything to the courts and we want to try and avoid her having to.
I’m keeping up with when we have the children including all messages exchanged about changes in time. So when she asks us to get them early or keep them longer or if we ask to have them extra. I’ll keep up with the reasons were told no. I’m also keeping notes of when we go to their school for whatever programs and when we go to their ball games.
I’ve kept records of anything extra we buy for them that goes to her home. I know these are considered gifts but I don’t want her to be able to say that he isn’t supporting their sports or school.
I’ve also kept up with what we do when we have them and any issues we have such as them. I could do more in this area but honestly things are just “normal” when we have them. If we do something outside of the house I try to snap a picture of it and include those.
If we have to discipline I’ll document why and how. For example the other night the kids kept jumping off the bed when they were told to stop so they ended up in time out. I never keep them longer than their age but this time I didn’t even keep it for 3 minutes because I knew my point was made. I NEVER spank or use any physical means other than if I have to pick them up to move them to time out. My boyfriend hasn’t spanked in almost two years.
My biggest thing is to try and make sure it’s not one sided. If she tells us no but gives a good reason I include that the same as in the past when she told us no and the reason was to punish him. I’ve included messages that she’s polite as well as when she’s hostile. When it’s time I don’t want them to turn it all away because I only focused on the bad. I want them to have a good picture of what’s going on.