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I am the wicked step mother. Yep. Sure. Sounds good

Auberry2's picture

I posted a little bit about this in the forum, but felt the need for a more full on vent because I couldn't get rid of the tension.

My family is a child worshipping cult. I am not sure why, but my grandmother and her sisters are so willing to run down people's kids and complain about their behavior, while at the same time making every excuse in the book as to why the kids shouldn't be disciplined. It is always someone elses fault.

We had a barbque on Monday. FDH's brother and neice were there as were my grandparents, my sister, and her three kids. All my grandmother could do was harp on me for not "being there" enough for SS5, and "excluding" SS5, and how dare I neglect him and make FDH fix him his plate at dinner time, and so on. Now, mind you, I was excluding SS5 by not having pics of SS5 up on my personal bookshelves. FDH and I each have our own personal bookshelves decorated to our tastes with pics of SS5, knicknacks, and such on FDH's shelves and on mine are pics of my bio-son and nieces and various books and knicknacks. These were FDH's idea, each kid gets an area with pics of just them, and I thought it was a good idea too so we did it. But my grandmother had a fit because I was "excluding" SS5 from my life. Like I live my entire life on one 6ft tall bookshelf.

Then, heaven forbid, we were getting ready to eat and my son wasn't hungry so I went ahead and made my plate and went to go eat. I had worked my backside off all day, I hadn't eaten, and I wanted some food durn it. I left FDH to take care of SS5, which again, is pretty normal for us. I have failed to see that making his child's dinner plate will cause some fatal reaction and kill my FDH. But my grandmother fussed at me and then proceeded to make SS5's plate for FDH, leaving my FDH standing there completely bewildered and a little annoyed because she insisted that FDH follow her around to make sure she got SS5 what he likes.

Then this mornign after I get back to work I was talking to one of my aunts who I happen to work with about my long weekend and I happened to mention SS5's behavior this weekend and was immediately put down as the "problem with SS5". A little background, this weekend was terrible with SS5 throwing several psycho tantrums, screaming, throwing himself around on the floor, kicking things, attempting to destroy things, and lashing out at me violently incuding slapping me numerous times and biting me. These behaviors are NOT new to SS5, he has exhibited them for years, well before I got with FDH, and they have actually improved since he came to live in my house. Well, my aunt was kind enough to inform me that I need to figure out what I am doing to cause these behaviors, that I need to stop initiating physical confrontations with SS5 (WTH? I never touch him, he had a mental breakdown and went after ME for heavens sake), I need to apparently do everything. Heaven forbid that we hold SS5 accountable and offer concequences for psycho behaviors. FDH did displine SS5 for these things. But, my family just frustrates me. FDH's family doesn't think I am doing badly with SS5, but my own family thinks I am the wicked step mother. It sucks.

I know, I have to disengage from my family where SS5 is concerned and keep my mouth shut about him, it just hurts my feelings that my family won't support me. They won't even remain nuetral, they immediately move to defend SS5, and because I refuse to bow down and worship at the alter of Children I am the bad guy. I am going to have to man up, be ok with the fact that FDH and I are doing what we feel is best and keep my mouth shut. Easier said than done.

Comments

Crazy_in_Ohio's picture

My exes family had the same expectations. I got the point where I'd sit on my big fat ass and bat my pretty little eyes and say "I'm sorry, did I miss the part where you're incapable of getting things for yourselves?"

Maybe that's why we're divorced? Smile