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Some Update on everything!

AshMar654's picture

I took SS8 to the doctor and guess what all SO had to do was sign a piece of paper giving my authorization. Well first a phone call and they sent me me home to get the paper signed. They saw us and discussed things with me. Rapid strep was negative so waiting on the lab to get back. I was told he gets strep two more times before December we will go see a specialist SO and I will both go. I think he is good still sore throat we will see.

My car broke down yesterday so that is fun. Nothing serious just something that has to get fixed.

There is one thing that is bothering me lately and I am not sure if I ever posted about it on here. When SS8 spends the night at his Aunt's they sleep in the same bed...there is a spare bed. SS8 has asked me to sleep in his bed with him numerous times but I always say no. I just do not feel right and he will be 9 soon. My guess is that he asks and she agrees so I am wondering is he getting too old for this and is it just becoming odd? He also sleeps in the G-parents bed when he is over there. He never sleeps in our bed. It has been well over a year now since he slept in SO's bed. When he did sleep in SO's room SO slept on the recliner.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

I will not be leaving this one up by the way.

Comments

lieutenant_dad's picture

I used to sleep with my mom and grandma when I was younger (grandma up until probably age 9, and I was a teen when I stopped with my mom). Nothing "bad" ever happened, we were just a co-sleeping kind of family.

Once he reaches puberty, it should probably stop whether he wants it to or not.

AshMar654's picture

Thank you. My family was not really like that. Sometimes I slept with my aunt but I want to say it stopped after I was like 5 or 6. I do not think anything bad is happening.

DaizyDuke's picture

I can honestly say I would not be bothered by my BS7 sleeping with any of my SILs or MIL or FIL. When I first met DH, SS18 was around 8 or 9 and he used to sleep with DH when he was there for visitation.(before I moved in of course!) Does my BS7 sleep with us? No, but if he is having an issue, like the other night he woke up in the middle of the night because his leg hurt and he came over and got in bed with us. No biggie to me, BUT he is both of our kid. I would NEVER want a skid in bed with me, now THAT I do not think is appropriate at all.

AshMar654's picture

Thank you. I agree it would be really odd if he slept in our bed. That is why he does not at all.

The other night he wanted me to lay with him in bed and I said no. The next night he asked again so I said I would just stay for little and read a book with him.

DaizyDuke's picture

I used to work with a guy who told me that his GF FIFTEEN year old son still slept with her. when I looked at him like he had 12 heads, he tried to explain it away by saying the son was "immature" :? Whatever.. that is just WEIRD! He also told me that same FIFTEEN year old used to walk around the house naked... all kinds of f'd up in my book. Glad I USED to work with him... I just couldn't look at him the same after some of the crap he used to spew out of his mouth. Sad

AshMar654's picture

That is really strange. Right now SS8 gets undressed in his room and walks butt naked to the bathroom. It makes me so uncomfortable sometimes. I have seen my cousins naked and like some of really good friends little kids.

Part of me is like ok he is getting a little old for this. I suggested a bathrobe I do not think he will use it. It is all so strange to me because I grew up way more conservative than my SO and he grew up in house that is ok with co-sleeping, kids running around naked for a while and what not. Also watching all sorts of tv. The other day SS was on netflix and was like cool Survivor is on here. SO was at work and I walk in thinking this is really mature show for kids and with in a minute a girl was on there taking a shirt off and was down to her bright pink bra. I told him to turn it off now. He argued a little saying he is allowed to watch it aunt's house. I flat out said I do not care this is our house and I want it off NOW.

So very different I as not allowed to watch the Simpsons at all. So was allowed and he is three years younger than me. I was 4 when it came on.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Different strokes for different folks, really.

This is all stuff you need to bring up with your SO and let him tell you what he wants to have happen. If he thinks Survivor is okay for SS to watch, then there isn't anything you can really do EXCEPT ask SS to turn it off if it makes YOU uncomfortable.

I think that is where a lot of this may be coming from: your comfort level. You have to recognize the difference between what is uncomfortable for you versus what is acceptable for SS.

For example, if him being nude makes you uncomfortable because you have to see it, make his wear a robe whether he wants you to or not. If he wants to watch Survivor, and your SO is fine with that, and you don't really have a problem with Survivor.but you think it's inappropriate for an 8 year old...unfortunately, you don't get any say in that. It isn't directly impacting you.

It's hard to know the line, but when in doubt, ask. You will hit a point where this starts making more sense. But you're new at this, so always default to SO's decisions unless the result impacts you.

Kirby's picture

I slept with my mom every now and then until I left at 16. In a king bed when my dad wasn't there during the week. It was never wired but it's definitely a if you don't mind it it's fine, it you do it's not. Plus two girls is different. I think 8 is probably an ok time to faze it out especially as a SM. If you want and it works you can always sit with him until he falls asleep. I used to do that with my brother.Sit on the end of the bed and read.