Slightly O/T: my SIL is a crazy SM
So my brother had a 3 yr old daughter when he married my SIL. The BM in his situation was crazy, but she was also very young, had no family support & my brother is not the easiest person to deal with. In the past several years, she has really surprised everyone & turned over a new leaf. She finished her degree while working full time, married a really good man & has a happy, healthy marriage, purchased a lovely home, lost 100 lbs & looks great. For years, brother & SIL have badmouthed BM every chance they got, taken her to court for full custody many, many times, & made it known that they are not interested in hearing anything "good" about her. Ok, fine. No one in my family has a relationship with BM anyway, but we liked to keep things cordial. But my brother & SIL expect everyone to hate the BM as much as they do or we aren't "on their side."
During these last several years, my SIL has slowly turned her rage onto my niece, now 13. In fact, she is downright abusive. Some of the stories I could tell would curl your hair. My mother spoke up in niece's defense & now she is a target of my brother & SIL's rage & abuse. In order to maintain a relationship with my niece, she now goes thru BM. Which gives my brother even more ammunition, but otherwise she wouldn't see her granddaughter at all. My SIL already keeps her 2 sons away from our family. I have seen my nephews once in over a year.
Anyway, I believe the reason SIL has become this way towards my niece is that she was jealous of BM. She is a control freak who can't stand that someone else has a say in how my niece gets raised or how her husband's money (cs) gets spent. It's just been on my mind a lot lately. It's such an effed up situation. Plus it just goes to show that it really isn't the BM who is always the crazy one.