how do you get your ss and sd to stop back talking and respect me?

My sd and ss think its ok to come to my husband and my house and not follow the rules. When I get on to them for something I get the word no, and that they don't have to listen to me. Of course dear old dad just sits there and does nothing. He then wonders why Iam so ill when the kids come up to the house. He wants the kids to come to the house, but then he does nothing but sit on his a** and does nothing to help me out. He thinks Iam suppose to entertaing and diciplen the sk's. But when I do have to do the deciplen he gets angry and says Im to ill when the kids come up. The sk's think they can come to the house and go wild. They don't listen to me when I tell them no, and Im rude and mean when I get on to them (thats what the 10 year old sd says). I have told them in front of thier dad that I am thier sm and that they have to listen to me, when I tell them to do something they need to do it. They have to follow the rules. Dear old dad just sits there and says nothing.

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Disengage!!! It works. I

Disengage!!! It works. I still get the disrespect, but once I started no longer doing everything, my DH started to hear how they were talking to me. Now he handles them and I just sit back and do what I actually want to do for them. Not everything like before. He has to step up now and it has made them start mouthing off to him and not me.

Deleted (posted twice by

Deleted (posted twice by error)

Well, your DH needs to talk

Well, your DH needs to talk to the kids and let them know what the rules are in the house, that they can't disrespect you etc. Ideally, it's best if he takes the lead on the discipline issues else they'll only resent you. His silence when they disrespect you is being interpreted by them as his approval and that needs to stop. I would start by putting your foot down and telling DH what you expect of him as your husband and partner, as well as what you expect of the kids - respect. They are HIS kids ultimately and he needs to step up and be the parent especially on these weekends.