Chores or no chores?
SS9 has a set of chores in our household. He has a list of them on the fridge, he can check them off for each day when they are completed. Once he completes them all for that day, he can use his screens (he earns screen time when he brings home good grades on his homework and tests.) His chores are simple, feed the cat, change liter box, make bed, pack or put away school bag, do your homework. He has a hard time focusing, but all in all, these shouldn't take more than 10 minutes a day outside the homework. We added some stuff in there like "do something kind for someone" and "ask dad for a chore" and most of the time that ends up being help dad take out the trash. The rest of his day is up to him or facetiming with his mom during her scheduled times/days (see my previous blog for that nonsense.)
On the flip side, when he's with his mom, he has no chores. He is not responsible for his school bag, making a bed, or taking care of any animals. His mother does not let him sit on screens, but she doesn't give him any responsibilites either. She does it for him. I am not sure if it's because it's easy to just do it for him instead of waiting on him, or if thinks he's too young for chores. We have told him that in our household, we have these chores for a reason. He's been trying to be a lot more independent lately, and we told him if he wants to be treated like a big kid, then he has to do his part.
Is this a lot to ask of a 9 year old? I feel like it's not much. My partner used to scrub floors, wash dishes, and work a farm in the summers at age 9. I used to have to clean the house and take care of all the pets in the home before I could go play (granted my mom was working full time as are we.)
What do you think is fair? We're trying to teach responsibility and autonomy.