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No response means NO, BioHo

Aniki-Moderator's picture

In a recent blog (https://www.steptalk.org/blog/aniki/sorry-bioho-were-busy-245441), BioHo seemed to think that, because I wasn't a hateful raging beeyotch during Hell Week, that we're going to be friends.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Mid-Saturday morning, DH's phone rings. It's 'Ho. He didn't answer. 15 minutes laters, it rings again. 'Ho. Aaaaaaand 20 minutes later, it rings. 'Ho again. DH turned off the ringer and put it in his work bag. I started making our planned "Special Breakfast".

Now, Special Breakfast is a little tradition we have. I make scrambled eggs, back bacon, and biscuits and put 3-4 jars of jam on the table (DH luuuuuurrrrrvvvsss his jam!). And I do it wearing my apron. ONLY my apron. DH makes fresh coffee and sets the table. He's NOT wearing an apron. Dirol

The bacon is done, the biscuits are 2 minutes from coming out of the oven, and I'm scrambling the eggs when there is a knock on our door. Our back door, which opens into the kitchen. Can you guess who? If you guessed 'Ho, you're right!! It was all I could do to keep from screaming with laughter with what DH did next.

He grabbed the towel-lined basket (awaiting the biscuits, slapped it over his naked crotch, yanked open the back door and bellowed, "WHAT!!!"

'Ho, mouth agape, looks at my stone-faced, NAKED (except for that basket!) DH, looks through the doorway to see my BARE ARSE (pink apron strings neatly tied in a bow at my waist) at the stove, and stammers out, "I-I-I-I w-wanted to know if-if-if you a-an-and Aniki are p-playing trivia tonight." DH barked, "NO!" and slammed the door in her face.

We heard her go out the screen door, start up her car, and leave. THEN I started laughing and said, "DH, the biscuits are ready. Are you done with that basket now?"

BEST LAUGH I'VE HAD ALL MONTH!!!

Comments

Blue Moon's picture

Hahahahaha!

I love your idea of a Special Breakfast!

hereiam's picture

That is hilarious!!

And what is this 'Ho's deal? Get a clue.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Hereiam, apparently that's one of her problems. 'Ho gets an idea in her fat head and there is NO changing it. Guess we'll have to see if this did the trick!

Cooooookies's picture

OMG I've just come home from work, read this, and I am ROARING!!!   That scene should be made part of a movie!!

Lol

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I love that idea, Cooooookies!!! Hmmmm.... who should play me....

Maybe I should write a book of Triumphs in the Lives of Stepparents.

queensway's picture

LMAO, what a way to start the weekend. And for us here on StepTalk to have a good laugh on a Monday morning.

1. Aniki pretty in pink!

2. Your husband answering the door dressed as Tarzan.

3. Teaching the nosy woman to never ever come over again.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Queen, I never EVER work pink until DH bought me that apron (it's HOT pink and RUFFLED with white polka dots and llime-green trim).

I honestly think the ONLY reason DH didn't answer the door stark naked is because he thought the next-door-neighbor might be able to see him.

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

Quite the spice you and DH add to breakfast!

Lmao and loving that the nosey stalker had the door shut in her face! Hopefully she gets the message: permanently!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Spice is nice!

'Ho is kinda dense. I'm not counting on her getting the message.

queensway's picture

Oh Aniki that is really bad if she doesn't get the message. Do you think someone dropped her on her head as a baby? LOL I am still laughing about both of you naked and her showing up.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Dropped on her head from a skyscraper, maybe??

Queen, there is definitely something wrong with her mind. The seriouls lack of morals/srcuples/boundaries.... I guess it's all part of being a narcissist?

Cooooookies's picture

It must the narcissist's song - I'll Never Get The Hint or Move On.

BM2 was told so many times last year, directly, by DH to F off and move on.  It's over, always will be over, he only wants me, he's happy, we are solid, etc.  She STILL tries to get him back.  They just canNOT handle not being center of attention.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Center of attention is definitely 'Ho. I'm certain she has NO idea that someone can stand out without being a loudmouthed, inappropriately dressed skank.

mommadukes2015's picture

I'm pretty sure you should be expecting your application for sainthood any day now. 

 

St. Aniki, watcher of Step Mom's everywhere. 

 

You. Go. Sisterfriend. I heard breakfast "sausage" is always a teensy bit sweeter when you sprinkle some F-U  seasoning on it. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Mommaduke, I'm faaaaaaaaaar from sainthood!! My wicked thoughts oftimes run rampant.

That breakfast sausage was darn good! I didn't get to the dishes AT ALL. Secret

Aniki-Moderator's picture

For lining that basket so DH didn't scratch himself??

I admit, I've been snickering all day!

Kmommyof388's picture

Omg aniki! That's too funny! I swear your life should be a TV show everyone would watch it! Laughs for days!