So SS7s teacher was nice enough to send his math homework from Monday home on Thursday so that he could finish it over the weekend and not lose the points bc his BM is a fucking idiot. SS decided to not bein home the homework however bc he didn't feel like doing it. His words, not mine. My initial reaction was are you KIDDING me?! Yes, "normal" behavior for a 7 year old blah blah blah didn't want to do his homework, and we've had issues in the past with him "forgetting" it at school but this time was different bc I know he read the note BM wrote to his teacher ab his evil stepmother and I know he read my note that I sent to the teacher specially requesting the homework to be turned in late bc of the situation and apologizing there's an issue at all. So mostly I was pissed that I went out of my way to ensure he didnt get a bad grade and now when he doesn't turn it in Monday like I told the teacher he would I look like an ass. And I told SS7 that in not so many words. SS7 is going on 30; mostly bc BM feels the need to involve him in all things that should be left up to the adults. He is worried sick about court and so let me start this off by saying that he "gets" it. No I don't thinks it's right that he does or has basically been forced to but he does all the same. So I tried a different tactic with this. Mostly bc I was so exhausted from having worked 16 hours the night before and coming home and cleanin and doing laundry instead of sleeping so that after this 36 hours I'm working this weekend I can enjoy Sunday and Monday off without the kids, work my 3 12s next week and have my entire weekend off while they're at BMs and not worry about cleaning or laundry then. It's a trade for me. I'd much rather be tired while theyre here and then actually enjoy my days off and have them completely off from everything. Anyway, so I just looked at him and said SS7 you know I went out of my way bc your mother didn't do your homework with you Monday night and didn't bother to send it home so it could be done I went out of my way to make sure you got extra time to do it bc of that (it was due Thursday) and you didn't bring it home. Now I look bad to the teacher and you're getting a zero. I guess I will just stop caring about whether or not your homework is finished since no one else does (yeah yeah I'm not perfect...shouldn't have said it...sue me) your mom tells you all the time that I'm not your mom and you know that so guess what? She's absolutely right, I'm not your mom so all that means is everything I do it's because I want to and bc I care about you. I don't HAVE to, and clearly you don't care either way so now you're on your own. He looked at me almost in tears and was like, well then I'll get bad grades (he's a super smart kid and takes pride in his grades. But he's also in 2nd grade and at this age I firmly believe its a parents responsibility to make sure homework and such is done and on time. His teacher sends home the weeks worth of homework at the beginning of the week and I take the time then to "prepare" everything so that every night when he gets home he goes straight to the kitchen table, pulls out his at home binder flips to the day of the week and while I'm making dinner he does the homework I "prepared" and I'm right there for help or guidance. Usually it's study your spelling words and one other subject so I had a spelling activity already done that he has to complete and whatever materials he needs along with written instructions for him, it's kind of coddling but I want to teach him good study habits and getting him in to a habit of coming home and immediately getting your school work finished is a great routine I hope he keeps and like i said, he's 7 and without parental guidance no 7 year old is just going to come home and decide to do their homework. Anyway I told him I wasnt going to do that anymore. I mean it does take time and energy on my part and so, given his reaction and that he really seemed to care I will have his DH "handle" Tuesday night and when that goes awry, and it will, I will of course have a back up for wednesday and Thursday. Luckily for us his homework for the whole week is always turned it all at once on Fridays so Tuesdays work can be
completed properly Wednesday and him not lose any points. Might also teach him proper planning when he's upset Wednesday bc he has two (three if you count what I'm sure BM didn't do Monday, she need does and we pick up the slack Tuesday) nights of homework instead of playing. I'll be sure to reiterate then that I don't have to do these things but I do bc I love him and care about his grades and him succeeding. This is all in a perfect world, hell be may not even care Tuesday but I doubt it. Sorry this is so long and rambly. Like I said I'm working on very little sleep and needed to vent!!