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It's all about respecting what's not theirs!

amackeral's picture

I am so tired of skids being babied and having no limits, they are adults for hell sakes, not little children. Excuse the language, I'm still so pissed about this whole situation.

It all started over a stupid bottle of BBQ sauce. I had bought some specialty BBQ suace at the farmer's market last week, for us to use when DH BBQs on the grill. Yesterday, I notice a bottle is missing and wondered if skids took it with them to a BBQ they went to on 4th of July. It's not about the bottle of BBQ, I don't have a problem with them using it, as long as it benefits the whole family. The point I was trying to make to DH was if they were going to take an entire bottle to a BBQ at a friend's house, they need to respect that they didn't buy it and ask DH or myself if it's ok.

I find out they didn't take it, they were going to use it at home before they were invited to the BBQ, so it was in the fridge. I admit to DH that I was wrong, but he proceeds to tell me I had made a big deal out of nothing.

I was so infuriated that he would attack me like that. It's not nothing in my opinion. They have free rent, free utilities, free food, free TV, free internet. FREE FUCKING EVERYTHING, but if they are going to a friend's house, they need to at least have the RESPECT enough to ask about taking stuff to feed everyone there, since they didn't buy it. I would have had to ask growing up. I didn't buy it, and if I wasn't eating it at home/was taking enough for everyone, I had to ask to take it or buy my own food to take. Simple enough right? Am I expecting too much?

Oh no, DH freaks out, comes up with the BRILLIANT idea that from now on, he'll buy food for him and skids, and put their name on it. I buy food for me and my daughter, and put my name on it. Such fucking bullshit, why did we even get married then? Maybe DH and skids should move out then, if we're going to have separate everything. No point in being married right?

But no, DH still does not get my point, and never will because he's still too busy playing the friend card and making up for not being there when they were growing up. Maybe I was already pissed off because SD hadn't cleaned the floors like she is supposed to on her days off? SS's room was a mess, and then the ignorant little shit doesn't offer to help bring XL wire dog kennel in the house, sits playing the computer, watches me struggle getting it in the house from the garage. He offers to help set it up...thanks but I can unfold a kennel myself, I already did the hard part packing it in to the house! Then he breaks my biggest pet peeve house rule- leaves dirty dishes in the sink overnight. z

GRRRR, I'm so running away for a week, and he can see exactly everything I do around here when the house looks like hell when he gets home the next week!


amackeral's picture

Oh trust me, I do see that point of it, I had only brought it up to DH but then retracted it/said I was wrong when I found out they hadn't taken anything. But then he said I was making a big deal and yep, I totally went on the defensive after I felt attacked when I was trying to apologize.

I didn't go off on the "they get everything for free" til he said what he I feel like I'm in one of "those" blended families, where I have no say in anything that goes on as long as the skids are living with us, I will have to just keep my mouth shut if I don't agree with something they do /sigh

TASHA1983's picture

Exactly!!!! Take a nice, long, well-deserved vaca from your LIFE...or personal hell as it appears!!!

Let DH have a taste of what its like to not have you around and to have to put up with his demon children's bullshit....ALONE!!! }:)

amackeral's picture

because DH is enabling them. He has been a trucker for the past 14-15 years so hasn't been around and now feels guilty and won't make them stand on their own 2 feet. He's allowing them to live with us because "they're his kids, he can't just kick them out". When I moved in a year ago in July, both skids were supposed to be living on their own by end of August. SD moved out October-January, then moved back in when she flunked out of University, SS never moved out and has made no effort to better himself so he can move out. Why should he? Wink

ybarra357's picture

"Oh no, DH freaks out, comes up with the BRILLIANT idea that from now on, he'll buy food for him and skids, and put their name on it. I buy food for me and my daughter, and put my name on it"

I dunno, sounds good to me~I basically had to do the same thing because SS21 refused to get a job or go to school and there's no way IN HELL I would spend my hard earned $$ to facilitate that slug. If my DH wanted to that, then he can knock himself out.

smdh's picture

I have to be honest with you, but kids in my house aren't allowed to just take anything. SD has to ask before she takes a snack. part of that is her eating issues, but part of it is - THIS ISN'T A FREE FOR ALL.

amackeral's picture

Exactly, my BD9 asks too, why shouldn't the skids have to too? That's the way I was raised, skids shouldn't be exempt.

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Im not sure what your DH thinks he is trying to accomplish with "being there for them now" since he wasnt able to spend time with them when they were younger due to his profession?!? He surely isnt helping them in any way!!! & Im sure thats why they are taking advantage of him!!!!

Id soooo take him up on his crap!! Label stuff, get another fridge for you & your daughter!! He clearly didnt think this all thru. Id take the above posters ideas!! He wants to "split" it all up? Bills now go to that too, but now they need to pay rent!!!

Theres no way of "making up for the past"!!!! Theres only NOW & Id suggest he become the DAD, not friend, now. His JOB is to finish raising them which now entails getting them OUT of the nest & on their own!!

Time for your DH to GROW UP!! Lol

amackeral's picture

Oh I so couldn't agree with you more! Thankfully SS dug his own grave yesterday and now has just over 60 days to find a better job and his own place! SD will be out by the end of September, it will just be BD here, and SS's room will become my office!!!