Step Grandma??? So WTF? lol
So I have these two SD's 9&10 on my hands and my 2 BD's 2&4 my Big bro has one son 6 and a beast of an ex. We share this disabled mother that is asking "what exactly is my role here??" She wasn't much of a capable parent to us, she likes kids and loves her family and does what she can.... but has some deficits that make it hard to have a normal relationship with. ie I don't have her babysit, I have to do her bills and manage her accounts since my dad died...etc.. but she is a prominate member of our family dynamic. Enter SD 9 and 10.....she doesn't know how to react to them, should she send them gifts on birthdays and holidays??? She asks me that all the time. She took them to see Smurfs once and they complained she didn't take them to the 3D verion that costs $3.50 extra a pop, I was mortified... As a step parent how do your parents positon themselves in this unique position as step grandparent that they didn't ask to be put in?
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My family is always nice to
My family is always nice to SS, try to invite him if he is there but no he isn't like my daughter to them. I also though plan family events with them when I can, when he is at his moms. EX: Christmas we will go see my family Christmas eve when SS is with his mom so my family will give my daughter a good amount of gifts and they will send over one or two gifts for SS. If SS is there like last Christmas eve they give one or two presents to my daughter as well and save the rest to give to her when SS isn't there.
My family accepted my SK's
My family accepted my SK's with open arms. I'm the only "second marriage" in the family so it was a little awkward but my family was great about it.
The SK's are a different story. Won't speak to anyone in my family. When gift giving holidays roll around they tell my kids how "lame" the gifts are that my family gives them. Can't STAND to go because of "all the brats running around". I have 5 nephews on my side of the family (ages 11 and up). The SK's don't have any cousins at all so they are the only "kids" (they're teens) at their family get-togethers.
So yuk, I'd rather they NOT go to my family holidays and get-togethers. I've never outright said that to my DH, but I think he's getting the idea. I just have to wonder if they're going to come with us at Christmas (they didn't last year).
My parents had little contact
My parents had little contact with skids since we usually visited without them. They did send a card with $5 for Xmas. No gift or card at birthdays. I thought a Xmas gift was generous. Skids have bio grandparents on both sides get gifts for them.