I’m very much in love with my boyfriend; his children are very sweet and generally well behaved. The issues I am having are probably quite common, but I feel completely unable to cope. Background on the family- My boyfriend, umm let call him Bob, was with the EX for 6 years, 2 before they had kids and 4 years, off and on after having the kids. We’ll call the kids Jack-8 and Jill-6. The EX has a long history of taking off for lengths of time without even attempting to contact her children. Bob is really the only parent they have; regardless of the fact that EX lives in the same small town. I’m sure by now you must know I think very little of her, if it were possible I would think nothing of her. Bob had been single up until we got together. We’ve been living together for about 8months, Bob, Jack, Jill, and I; along with very dysfunctional additional family members. Jill has spent about 4 months with us and 4 months with her “mother” (EX).
I love the thought of having kids, hearing mom when it is directed to me of course. Helping with homework cleaning up after them cooking doing laundry, working on crafts the hugs and kissing booboos; I do all that actually including discipline, Bob spends a lot of his time working, but the mom part feels further away than ever. I know it takes on average 1-3 years for kids to consider a step to be the same as the parent, or at least close. I begin to feel, at times, like I’m trying to teach a baby to say their first words- mama, dada- while at the same time having to continuously assign timeouts or consequences. I’m feeling extremely lost torn scared overwhelmed and not to mention my worsening depression.
I’m not sure I have any questions just in need of any… well any words. Please give me feedback. :?
-Aimlessly Wandering