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Is it possible that BM can be convinced to change?

3bk1sd's picture

DH called BM yesterday because SD hasn't been over since June 6. I asked him if he could bring her for supper on Sunday (father's day) I'm getting pizza and the kids and I have presents for DH. It's not our weekend to have her so that is why he called to see if it would be ok. BM proceeded to ask for large amounts of money for things we had already discussed and DH said he would not pay for (mp3, nintendo DSI, there was something else but I forget). He again said no, I give you child support to buy things SD needs and those things would be for birthdays/christmas. Anyway BM then says "We have a counselling appointment on Wednesday at 6pm and you have to come." DH said that sounded good and he would love to go. He then told me that he will not be going unless I go with him. I think it will end up with her leaving but I hope not. I hope we can all sit down and talk with the counsellor. I did ask DH what he will do if the counsellor says to come in without me and he said he will tell her that we are a team and either it's both of us or none. I know this may seem strange to some people and they would say he should just go without me but the mom likes to attack us separately, if she sees that we are a team and sit there together maybe she will finally get it through her fat head that we are together and she needs to accept that. It will be interesting. She likes to make up all sorts of things that we have done and it's much better if there are both of us there to answer to her. If I'm not there it will be all about attacking me and DH says he's done with listening to that. Oh, as an added bonus I am bringing her crazy ass emails where she bashes us and calls us names for nothing. She's such an idiot.


Sunnydays's picture

It's great that all of you can even agree on counseling. I think it's a wonderful ideal, but neither my DH or my SS BM would agree to that. My SS is a very nervous child due to the fact that BM is always causing some kind of unnecessary drama that of course causes conflicting issues. I know that's what it is an nobody will listen to me. I know this because at one point me, my DH, BM, and BM's husband were all getting along wonderfully and my SS was a very different child. Happy, didn't bite his nails, and never threw tanturms, but once the drama was stirred up he is back to doing all these things.... I hope all of you the best of luck in whatever situation your in as all of ours is different. I pray that someday we can all find peace and live our lives. As I no longer talk to BM if anyone has any ideals how to convince my DH that counseling is a good ideal I would apperciate it a bunch!

--- I also have a post under hi I'm new here, that I could use some advice on as well!" thanks!

3bk1sd's picture

BM and SD didn't agree to counselling. They are being forced to attend after I reported her bad mothering skills to CPS. DH agreed to go because he wants the counsellor to see how she interacts with us. I can't wait to see her face when she's being all nice with the counsellor and I pull out her nasty emails from the past two years. LOL, that'll be priceless. You don't have to be very intelligent to see what's going on in the emails, they sound like they've been copied from a PAS handbook.

anabihibik's picture

Wow! That sounds like it can be quite the stressful situation. I'm so glad to hear your DH takes the team approach. I think when I compare my past experience with my current situation, I feel like that kind of attitude makes me feel more connected with my SO because the BS isn't coming between us. I hope your appointment goes well.