Way o/t but would like advice please
Things have been going really well.DH went to drop off cs and SD wasn't going to be there. We knew that he'd be talking to BM, usually he avoids her as she always wants to argue with him.
He came home and didn't say anything about it, I didn't ask because the kids were there and I didn't want to hear about her foolishness anyway. I knew he had texted her to make sure she would be home and here is where my behaviour becomes questionable
After supper he went to lie down. He left his phone on the counter. I clicked on her text message to see if she had started drama but there wasn't anything unusual. I saw the end of the text message from a friend of his. I was compelled to click on it as it seemed interesting. DH was talking about some hot girl at his work with nice boobs. He actually said "mmmmmm she has nice bigs t1ts and wears tight shirts to show them off". He also told his buddy that his job is great because there is lots of "great pu55y there". When I first read it I felt like I had been kicked in the stomache. Then I realized that he had never meant for me to read that and I should not be so upset. I never did tell him that I saw it but I have mentioned a few things about tight shirts and boobs that he may suspect I saw it. I think I look just fine and he tells me that I look good. I just really think it's disrespectful to me to be talking about how fine other girls are. I know I can't stop him though. Would you have told him what you read or just ignored it?
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He asked to use my phone
He asked to use my phone before and made a big deal of my text messages. I said go ahead I wouldn't type anything on there that I wouldn't do with you sitting beside me. Humm, apparently he would, I am thinking I need to clear the air and bring it up, I just keep giving him dirty looks and making strange comments. I'm waiting for him to ask if I looked at his phone so I can say "why is there something on there I shouldn't see?"
I'm thinking of just a
I'm thinking of just a general comment like "You know when you comment to other people about certain girls wonderful boobs and girly bits? I find that to be very disrespectful to our relationshp. I feel like perhaps you're letting them know you're unhappy and I don't like it."
i don't know if i have any
i don't know if i have any advice. but i did hear once someone say "careful what you dig for, cause all you get is dirty"
First of all you seem like
First of all you seem like you feel guilty for looking throu his phone... Screw that! You have every right to look.. Anytime. My DH and I have no secrets, we know each other passwords etc. there's no need to hide crap if you aren't doing things you're not supposed to. And yes that is very disrespectful of him to comment to his friend that way. You should def confront him! Don't hold all that animosity in... It will find its way out.
I would confront my DH about
I would confront my DH about this if I saw something like this on his phone. I would let him know (since it would be the case) that it would cause me to lose respect for him to hear him talking like that.
That said, one reason I'm with DH is that I don't have to look through his stuff. Otherwise, he wouldn't be living here.
I was in a relationship for 7
I was in a relationship for 7 years, my ex had cheated on me with an old childhood friend. That was in the 3rd year and for the next 3-4 years I made us nothing but miserable, I could never forgive him and honestly finally realized that he didn't deserve to be forgiven. I will never repeat this mistake, not even for a second..there will be no argument, no discussion.
Your DH is acting like a douche "mans,man" ick. You have every right to go through his phone, even more so that you have already found something he will probably delete asap. If I were in your situation I wouldn't say a word. But then again I spent 4 long years mastering the art of going through a PC piece by piece, phones are cake.
I guess you need to think about what you want from this. Do you think this is really just him acting like a douche nozzle to his buddies or do you think there may be something more? If he is just being a dick let him know that it is extremely embarrassing for you and he needs to find better topics of conversation. If you think there may be more then leave it be and find what that "more" is.
I am going to put a different
I am going to put a different spin on this. First how well do you know your man? Do you trust him? I am just asking because guys will be guys, I know my guy and if I seen something like that I would take as him playing the "guy" part with his buddy or a male co worker. BF and I have that kind of relationship, not everyone does thou. We could be out and I will pass a comment about nice looking guy I see and vice versa, there even been times where I have pointed out nice looking girls to him. Again it's really about what kind of relationship you have. Remember guys are visual creatures. If it really bothers you confront him.