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hateful ex

xomaxoai's picture

Has anyone successfully dealt with hd's hateful ex? I've had it. getting a divorce is the last thing I want but I'm tired of her being ugly towards me. I've tried being nice to her not once but twice, we managed to be friendly for a few weeks but both times she manages to find fault with me or twist my words. It's like I walk on eggshells all the time waiting for what she's going to accuse me of next. And even worse dh says I'm the mean person for not wanting him to be at her beck and call every time she needs help. I don't see why my husband needs to be her fix it man or the person she confides her problems to.

Rags's picture

So quit tolerating her bullshit and own her idiot ass. The only way to deal with these manipulative toxic POS morons in the blended family opposition is to turn barring their idiot asses into your favorite sport.

Give them no quarter, ever, for anything. And enjoy every second of rubbing their noses in their stench filled lives. }:)

Why would you let your DH's toxic X end your marriage. Life your life successfully and fully in her face so she cringes when she sees how happy your life is she will wilt and like cockroaches that run for dark corners when a light is thrown on in a roach filled room she will scurry for the shadows. Be the light. She will definitely be the roach.

Never give up, tolerate nothing but rational behavior from her and own her. Period.

And inform your DH that if he does not immediately recover his balls from his XW's purse you will have the locks rekeyed and he can either live on the curb or move back in with the woman who controls his balls.

:sick: :sick: :sick: your DH is truly pukeworthy the way he caters to his X. Don't tolerate it from him and for sure do not tolerate anything but rational and deferential behavior from XW/BM. If the Skid is not on life support in the hospital BM should have no reason to speak to either you or DH.

IMHO of course.

xomaxoai's picture

Believe me I go out of my way to avoid her. She left her job over not getting a promotion unfortunately Their 2 kids and my daughter have swim class together. I made it a point to sit as far away as I could from her every time but she took it upon herself to come sit with me. I only tried being nice this time because she half assedly apologized for her actions in the past. Most the time I don't have to talk to her to be accused of doing or not doing. I informed him of that this morning that I will not budge he had one wife me and I do not want him doing for her only contact should be for the kids.

Maxwell09's picture

I don't think I've ever read about a SM reaching out to a BM and it working out with all daisies and sunshine...ever...especially when there's an emotionally conflicted DH in the middle. Don't try to reach out to her, she doesn't want to be your friend. Think about it, who wants to be chummy with their replacement? No one. Your DH needs to stop being her emotional crutch or he needs to get back with her and leave you out of it.

xomaxoai's picture

He says he is ok with me helping, talking, or having lunch with whoever I want. So two Mondays ago I had lunch with a former coworker who admitted to having feelings beyond friendship for me and dh knows about. When he arrived at home he was not very happy said he lied about being ok with it. However last night xw started her rampage and this morning for over an hour she ranted and raved about me saying things like I'm cheating on him, she has been told I don't want him, That I'm hateful and have animosity towards her, I'm not allowed to be around their kids and blah blah and now all of a sudden he's fine with me seeing this guy and talking to him and doesn't understand why I have such a problem with him doing for her that she has no one else. Which he doesn't care that she has no one else because of her attitude.
Oh rags I do believe I like your way of thinking. I know part of this is because even though she filed for the divorce she still wants him. So of course I can show her what she's missing and I have. Maybe she will get the hint and find her another fool to put up with her.
I've been feeling like the awful person he says for not liking their relationship thank you ladies. I needed a boost.

peacemaker's picture

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yaknelle's picture

I am in a very similar situation. My husband and I have been married for 2 years. He has 4 kids with BM and I have 3. On weekends he has his children, he takes them to his mom's so he can have quality time with them because he's "trying to be a good dad". He and his ex talk or text every day and even a month ago they got into a conversation about what they call their private parts and he text her that word at midnight the same night. He only spends a couple of nights a week with me and then leaves. He stays at his mom's the majority of the time "because he's busy and has to get up early". He at times doesn't even acknowledge my kids, who are older and feels they are grown so they don't need the attention his kids do because they are younger. If given a choice he always chooses to spend his time with his kids or his "family", which may include his ex wife at sporting events, etc. instead of me. On weekends we don't have the kids, his ex wife will always find a reason he needs to spend time with them. She'll have the younger boys call and ask if they can spend the night and he always says yes because he doesn't have them all the time. He doesn't help me financially because he has a financial obligation to his children. He doesn't help around the house and rarely gets home before 8 or 9pm. My children are older and 2 of the 3 are out of the house, so it's just me and my 13 yr old daughter here alone most of the time. He barely speaks to her when he's here and he's usually drinking quite a bit when he is here. On weekends we are alone he gets completely drunk and we can't even enjoy our time together. HELP!!! I don't know what to do...

Rags's picture

Of course you know what to do. Rekey the locks, put his shit on the curb, divorce this loser idiot and find a man of character who is commited to you rather than his XW.

:sick: :sick: :sick:

Rags's picture

Why would you allow your DH's XW to end your marriage? And why do you give a shit what she says or thinks? If she is not pleasant then own her idiot ass and have fun doing it. }:)

First, grab your DH by the short and curlies, give his man sack a yank, and inform him that YOU are his wife and he will not be XW's beck and call boy any longer. It is not mean, it is just the facts of the situation.

If she is reasonable and will work with you then be reasonable and work with her. Since she has proven she is incapable of being a reasonable adult in your blended family adventure, have fun destroying her. DH can get on board or he can find himself single. Regardless, do not give a shit what BM thinks. Own her ass.