need advice
Forums:
I've been in a relationship with my bf for 6yrs. He has a son who is 11. I have 3 2 of which are grown and one who is 14 who I share custody of with my ex husband. Anyways here is the issue his son is a living nightmare . He acts like A 5 yr old , throws tantrums daily , pouts nonstop , makes life in our house miserable . My bf does nothing except babies him . He comes to visit us every summer and every summer it gets worse.. Not to mention the numerous fights he causes between me and my bf and many times laughs and smirks when he sees us fight ! I seriously am debating leaving this relationship and finding a guy with normal children ... Any advice ?
6 years???? i wouldnt be
6 years???? i wouldnt be around an evil "step kid" for 6 weeks
The choice should not have to
The choice should not have to be yours. It should be your BF's! If he wants you to stick around, he needs to get a grip on his son! Period. I am dealing with a spoiled stepchild too. Her mom lets her do whatever she wants whenever she wants however she wants and then she gets here for her visits and forgets manners and etiquette, which I insist upon with my own kids and SD. It is not SD's fault. She is only 6 years old. It is the parents that are ALLOWING the ridiculous behavior who should be punished. If I could turn bio-mom over my knee, let me tell you, the belt would be off!
Me and DH have had it out many times over this. If he wants me to treat his daughter the same as I treat our other kids, I am fine with that, but she needs to respect the rules of our house like the other kids too then. Even if it means he has to take the extra time to 're-train' her every time she comes back! It is either that or he can take her out of my house and spoil her elsewhere!
I have kept to myself all day
I have kept to myself all day to avoid dealing with this child and his caudeling father who babies him , so just 10 minutes ago my bf said he was not going to have me ruin his sons vacation because I wanted to ignore them! Wtf!
As geemudder says the choice
As geemudder says the choice is your partners, if your partner wants you to continue living with him, then he needs to step up and actually parent his son, he needs to understand that guilt parenting ruins a child, this child needs some clear ground rules, he is having these tantrums daily because he knows that they work, I always ignore tantrums, if that dos'nt work then take him to his room, once he realises it dos'nt work, he won't do it anymore, how would your partner react if your children acted like this? It is quite simple, good behaviour equates to a reward, bad behaviour means punishment, the hard bit is getting your partner to agree to this, so lay it on the line on tell him you will no longer tolerate this shocking behaviour, he must ruin every summer for you, you could tell your partner that Ss's behaviour is rubbing off on your kids, kids so copy other kids and if they see him getting away with bad behaviour why should'nt they try it?
Tell him: Sweetie, if you
Tell him: Sweetie, if you want me to actively parent, then allow me to parent him (and that includes disciplining). If you don't want me to parent, then I'll do whatever I want and allow you to parent him-he needs you more than he needs me, he has a mother. See what he says and go from there. Sign them up for Scouts or camping or whatever and get them out of the house. ha
Have you ever sat down w/
Have you ever sat down w/ your SO when it's not in the heat of the moment and discussed what's going on? Not that it will matter, bc they can be hard headed. He sounds like an idiot anyway...you can't win with him. I would find a parenting class or a book (on tape if necessary!) that might help. I can't imagine doing that for SIX YEARS...