False Allegations of Sexual Abuse Days Before Court
I am a stepmother to a wonderful six year old boy. The BM is beyond beyond. I could outline the issues, but just imagine the worst... she is physically and mentally abusive to the boy, she hates that her ex-husband found love again, she blames me for them not being together even thought they were divorced for three years before I even met him. We have filed police reports because she has followed us. We have been notified by DYFS that there is a case open regarding her but the abuse claims have not be definitively substantiated, although according to a psychological assessment done there are documented problems between SS and his BM.
At any rate. We are headed to Court on Friday, this Friday, Dec. 21, and we were very strategic in how we handed in our Court documents these last weeks. In the end we broke down all of her false accusations with strong, clear evidence that she didn't know we had. In essence, shredding her case.
New Allegations:
Now today, she sends an email to DH stating that she took SS6 to the ER last night after a weekend with us to document his red, swollen penis and she is filing abuse charges against me. She states that when she asked the child if anyone touched him inappropriately he said "I don't know".
Now what? Anyone else have any experience with anything like this? Can we file a false allegation suit against her? Can we do anything proactive here? I have to tell you that I love DH with all my heart but this is getting to be too much. TOO MUCH.
What do the medical records
What do the medical records say is the cause of this symptom? I would go to that hospital (your DH) and ask for a copy of it, so you know that it isn't altered in any way. I would also have your SS in some sort of counseling immediately to find out what is really going on.
Part of our Court request is
Part of our Court request is to get him into counseling. We will get the hospital report tonight or tomorrow as we definitely will need it in Court Friday, and you're right, we need to get it directly from the hospital,not from her. Her email states that his penis was red and a bit swollen.
DH NEVER talks to her. They
DH NEVER talks to her. They communicate via email only at DH's insistence because she lies so often and he prefers to have things documented. We can record anyone here as long as one party knows they are being recorded. The other party does not need to be notified. But she won't say anything incriminating... can you explain what you think we could get via recorder... maybe I am missing something.
Forgive me, I don't know your
Forgive me, I don't know your story. But when is the last time you or DH saw the boy? Had he complained about discomfort? Acted at all different.
My son had issues with his penis about 2 years ago. He was complaining of pain to the point that it was hard for him to walk, and the tip was red and swollen. Turned out he had scar tissue on the tip of his penis from holding his pee too long and then tearing the hole because the stream was so strong when he did go. So, issues with the penis doesn't automatically mean abuse. It could be anything. Is he circumsized? It could be an infection. She could be lying altogether.
We don't have a lawyer. I
We don't have a lawyer. I drew up all the court docs. I used to volunteer in the family court system for DYFS children and because of my parent's difficult divorce it has been a bit of a crusade of mine since a very young age to help families in custody cases where one parent is being bullied by the other via the courts re: custody. I put together a very good case for my husband... but this is way over my head.
I think DH has to speak to a lawyer at this point.
bs goinon - I appreciate
bs goinon - I appreciate that. DH and I had the boy this last weekend. DH worked during the day and I cared for ss6. In the evening we were all together. The funny thing is that I was so unbelievably sick this weekend, still am, and so was ss, that I could barely get out of bed, and he was kept in the other room. We both had horrible fevers and coughs. I think I caught it from him earlier in the week during a visit. I got up to check on him from time to time, gave him his meds etc, but he slept most of the weekend. He ate almost nothing because of how sick he was, neither did I. I think he is circumcised but the truth is I bathed him once months ago and don't remember. How did they diagnose the scar tissue problem? SS does tend to hold his urine for too long and often we have to remind him to make a trip to the restroom.
Judges are quite used to this
Judges are quite used to this sort of thing and it will take a lot more than her allegation and a red penis to convince him that something happened. Lets face reality its pretty rare for a woman to fondle a tots penis. I also suspect that its done just to get everyone upset which you cannot allow to happen.
Your attorney will simply tell the court that you categorically deny the allegations and if the ex is prepared to file charges they will be found to be totally unfounded. This sudden allegation is not going to change anything.
Stay calm and let your attorney do the job, or your husband if he is self-representing. Stay calm. Once its shown how off balance she is in everything else she's saying it will become apparent that she's unstable and nothing, repeat nothing, she says can be believed.
Before you have children with this fellow be absolutely sure that you want to spend the decades ahead dealing with this woman because she will never be completely out of your husbands and his boys life.
If you don't have children with your husband then I urge you to consider telling him after the hearing that you simply cannot live the rest of your life like this and you will have to ask for a divorce.
So... both the ER report and
So... both the ER report and the report by the pediatrician this morning state that there are no signs of any kind of abuse, not only that but the pediatrician saw nothing at all... the ER doctor saw a bit of a swollen penis and thought he might have slept on it wrong. My husband said SS6 is circumcised but there is a bit of foreskin left, which may have irritated his privates. DH checked him out himself tonight and saw absolutely nothing going on down there, NOTHING.
Also worth noting, SS said tonight that BM had him ride in an ambulance to the hospital Sunday night... what a wacko. what a complete and utter wacko. And I have one question for her which we will pose in court... if she was so sure that he was sexually assaulted, why didn't she worry about those who he is with at school or his aftercare facility? She says because he was with us all weekend, not at school, but, just because some kind of issue shows up Sunday night does not mean it is evidence of foul play on Sunday during the day... some STDs take months to show up... infections can take days from inception... and no, I don't believe he was molested by anyone, I am just saying, she clearly was just trying to make a case before we head to court on Friday against us. She doesn't care about SS. She makes me sick and I can't wait for Court on Friday. DH was ready, but sometimes he is a bit quiet... but now he is furious. He is furious that i was pulled into this sick stuff, that his son had to see doctors looking at his privates and asking personal questions, that he was put into an ambulance as if it were some kind of huge deal, that Social Services has to now interview SS6 again regarding this issue because of what BM stated in the ER, and that DH had to notify the school of what was going on... he is so freakin' over this cretan... we both are... Thank God for this list... None of my friends understand this situation... We are such drama phones... we hate drama queens and surround ourselves with healthy, "normal" people... I would never let someone like her into my life, so dealing with her is a real challenge... and one I am not used to dealing with given those I surround myself with.
Glad the reports are clear
Glad the reports are clear
We saw him for our regular
We saw him for our regular visit. Tonight my husband and I get the experience of being interviews by DYFS although with the medical findings I would assume the case is pretty much closed and this is just a formality. I want to press charges against her for slander. This is going too far. And she isn't doing this because she believes it, she is doing this because she is afraid of ss having a close relationship with another mother figure. And during our visit the ss is running around holding his privates saying "owed, owed" over and over again. When my husband asked why, he goes on and on about the ambulance ride. When asked if his privates hurt he says "no", but then goes on about the ambulance ride. Nice going BM, nice going. He already has behavioral problems due to documented abuse by her, and in school he has gotten into trouble for being physically violent with the other kids, but thank God nothing sexual or nothing with his privates.... now I am afraid with this incident and all the attention he has gotten for his privates he is going to now go in a very bad direction. I worry so much for this kid. My husband is ready to just tell BM that if she keeps this up that he will stop seeing ss and just send her support and that will be the end of it. But that would be a death sentence for that little boy's soul. The BM will definitely ruin him if she goes unchecked.... the whole thing is awful... AWFUL.