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I read a post a few weeks ago about "skid induced alcoholism".
I'm having one of those nights tonight. Actually, DH just left to take SD10 to a choir performance, and SD12 went with him - there were only two tickets available per family - DAMN the bad luck!!! 
My husband and I got married last week out of the country and did not take my SS 8 to the wedding. (It was DH's idea to get married out of the country and not pull his son out of school for the trip) While he did not go into great detail about it, BM was highly upset that SS was not included in the ceremony. In fact, while I know an argument probably occurred between them, DH refuses to talk to me about it. He simply gets agitated and changes the subject whenever I bring it up. Agggghhhh!!!!!
I want to thank all of you for your help. it is hard to speak up because she has such attitude when told anything. so i will try to note writing. as for her taking over the downstairs, she sort of is getting the hint... but still insists sitting with us when all i really want is to have a nice, private conversation with my husband.
Do any of you deal with being your step child's second SM? (or 3r, or 4th...)
I know I really struggled with this when I entered the picture.
DH began his relationship with his daughter my SD14 when she was 5. BM#1 brought her to meet him and he began regular weekend parenting. He lived with BM#2 at the time and BM#2 acted in a step mom capacity for 1.5 years while DH and her were still together.
Recently the DH & I have witnessed (& heard snip-its through the boys) his X is acting more like the BFF than the Mother she should be. For example: How many of you would let your 16yr daughter stay out all night till 2 or 3 a.m.? You call all over hell's half acre looking for this "child" & when she finally decides to grace your presence.....her punishment is....brace yourself... Losing her phone for a week. WHAT THE????? I'm pretty sure the punishment that I would've endured by my parents would be considered child abuse these days.
Deleted for privacy. I appreciate all the support given by fellow St. poster.
We've decided to try and get her to settle for a certain amount each month. She will probably protest this, since she actually LIKES having this to hold over SO's head.
:? The other day I told DH that I hate BM and that all she does is screw with my life and I'm sick of that fat cow trying to control my man. My DD3 proceeded to tell me she loves BM because SS loves BM and that that's her brothers mommy and we shouldn't say mean things about her because BM loves SS... I wanted to cry. Even tho it showed my daughter has such a loving heart, I couldn't help but feel betrayed. I mean BM gets everything she wants even at my expense. My daughter always runs and gives her hugs.. which I hate but I have never said a word.
ok...so I guess Im fortunate that my husbands ex family is so nice to us. But, its almost to the point of FAKE!
So I have been struggling for months with the baby bug. My heart really wants one (for whatever reason) even though it's completely illogically at this point in my life.