Stick's Blog
Controversial Subject... BM's especially, if you can please respond...
DH and I are toying with the idea of not enforcing any visitation at all. Meaning, that if SD wants to see her mom we will facilitate it. But if she doesn't we will no longer make her go and BM will have to deal. It's a last resort option. Personally, I feel that a break would be good. I was supposed to meet with SD's counselor today and she cancelled again. It's the 3rd session this therapist has cancelled over the past 6 weeks, due to illness. So I am concerned that this therapist may be going through something that will eventually force us to find another therapist.
SD doesn't have a "Mom"...
SD told me last night that she feels like she doesn't "have a mom". She has a "Mother". But she doesn't have a Mom.
Says a lot doesn't it?
I'm hurt a little... but THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME.. or my and SD's relationship.
I know what SD means.
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Protect the child OR PAS? For the Steps with difficult bios...
How do you walk the line between protecting your stepchild and at the same time not participating in PAS?
I keep in mind Rags' take, which is something to the effect of ... We can relay facts. They are merely facts, not good or bad... just facts.
But the reality is, the facts that many of us deal with could contribute to bad feelings for a child against a parent, or could be considered PAS.
So how do you say things to your SKids when the truth sucks, but sugarcoating or pretending it's not a truth is more hurtful to the child than the facts?
DH left today for 6 weeks, Hope Floats (or sinks), and a Stepdaughter's guilt...Long sorry....
SD and I just dropped DH off at the airport for the next leg of his business trip. 6 weeks this time. Well, at least I didn't cry like the last time, or feel as lost and alone. I'm surprised that I am feeling this optimistic since we just had a horrible weekend due to BM bull...
SD has been told that she has to give counseling sessions with her mom some time because in the last visit counselor thought she saw SOMETHING in BM "click". Not sure.. but counselor saw a glimmer of understanding in BM. So SD goes to BM's and BM has a movie picked out for them to watch!!
UGH I get my husband at HOME 1 week and BM ruins our only night together
I'm so angry and frustrated I could cry... or scream. Notice I am writing this at 5:23am.
I can't even get into it all... Although I will just say that BM made SD so upset the poor girl was sobbing; and that DH spent, literally, 3-1/2 hours on the phone with BM trying to get her stupid ass to understand WHY she made her daughter cry.
The 3-1/2 hours spent during "our time" was something that had to happen. BM had to be told a bunch of stuff and I'm glad that DH did it. So I'm fully in support of DH just finally letting it all loose on BM.
Sh*tty Stick take on things - Not rainbows and lollipops, but no excuses either..
Ok ladies ... I gotta ask... and you guys can say what you think either way.
I know we feel put upon... by jobs, and kids, and husbands reacting to kids. But, are we really, when it gets right down to the nitty gritty... are we all that different and put upon than others?
I think I need a break from this kid AND BM... Counseling Part 3
She's not really doing anything different... she's just being herself!! But .. I get to see DH tomorrow... tomorrow.. I love ya tomorrow... It's only a dayyyyyy aaaaa-wayyyyyy.... With 2 rooms.. thank you very much!!!
Last night was BM and SD's 3rd counseling session... And now...here's some of the highlights!!! Woo hoo....
Prelude to Leaving... What's your story? Getting "Unstuck"!
I've seen a LOT of posts on here from women who feel they are in situations that are just horrible, or abusive, or just plain old BAD... but they can't seem to leave. They can't leave because of money, because of insecurity, children, a number of reasons...
I met DH in 2002. We moved in together in 2003. We started getting SD 50/50 or more in 2004.
Sorry about 2 blogs in one day, but had to ask....
Stepdaughter's counselor has told her that she is not "opening up" in her sessions with her mom.
SD has told me that she doesn't want to cry in front of her mom and let her know how much she has hurt her.
She has also said that she doesn't trust the fact that she would completely open up and try for a better relationship and that BM wouldn't go back to business as usual, once SD let her in again.
I get all of that. What I don't understand is this....
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Mally's Blog, and Is anyone else in this situation? BM "is in pain"...
Mally - I can definitely relate to what your wrote about your BM.
BM has used all of the same sorts of guilt trips, manipulation tactics, pressure, "victim" status to SD over here as you described. From the whole "Do you really want to live with them instead of me??!!" argument down to comparing gifts that we give SD, etc.