Yeah and he told me, because he thought I'd be HAPPY about it because it calmed HER down *sigh* The kids live with us, because basically their dad told them if they play up enough on their mum, she'll dump them on us. And guess what? It worked! The night before we were moving house, she drove into our driveway, pushed them out of the car and drove off, we've had them ever since. These kids are such a handful that even thier own grandparents won't have them stay over in the holidays because they can't handle them! Both the girls have been suspended from school and had numerous detentions. SD 12 was caught breaking into a locked school room last week and trying to set it on fire with a lighter. *sigh*
It upsets me because I am the main caregiver, hubby is a volunteer firefighter as well and is gone twice a week for training, plus is gone every time there is a fire call. On the odd ocassion when I have tried telling him how overwhelemed I am and not coping , I got "You knew we were a package deal when you married me!" Except they weren't living it us when we got married...........I just don't know what to do, every instinct screams 'run for the hills!" But this isn't my first marriage and I don't want to feel I have failed AGAIN! My husband is aso very emotionally manipulative and will cry at the drop of a hat if I try pushing anything, or he'll give me th silent treatment for days. We are going to counselling but he's just telling them what they want to hear ( I am going to look for partime work so I can help around the house more, which is CRAP, he'll never do that!) Sorry if I am sounding a bit erratic, just at my wits end............. And thanks for the welcome! LOL! Altho for obvious reasons would rather not be here!

HAHAHA! LOVE it! Will definately give it a go and see if that helps (the nut twisting will definately make ME feel better even if it achieves nothing!) My hubby throws his hands in the air and says there's nothing he can do with his kids and that it's all their mothers fault. Seeing as they haven't lived with her for 2 years, and their behaviour is getting worse, not better, I find this hard to beleive! What really annoys me is that my eldest son is doing brilliantly at school, fantastic grades, behaviour really good (no friends but then he is an aspy!) And my hubby treats him like crap. I think he tries to divert attention away from his kids by picking on every little thing my son does. My son hates him which tears me up inside. Especially as I have worked so hard to have a relationship with his kids (to the point where they invite me, not their mother to any special events now)
Oh and all medical reasons for the eight year old bed wetting have been ruled out, it's pyscological, but he's not seeing anyone about it. And even if he was, guess who'd be taking him! GRRRRRRRRR!
But am not ready to give up yet, will definately try your ideas Momster and see if that helps! Thanks

Glad to hear there is hope for him I feel so sorry for him ad sometime wonder if I should be on my own, concentrating on him and his needs, but then think maybe him growing up in a convulted family like ours will actually teach him some life skills?
Definately appreciate your advice, feel so much better for talking about it already!